haikyuu headcanons

a thousand reasons

hinata: *blushes* uh-ah- Y-YES! GOSHIKI, GRAB MY HAND!

goshiki: *glomps hinata*

hinata: I SAID MY FUCKING HAND YOU SHITTING DOOFUS!!!

tsukishima: ... must... not shoot... yet... until they're two point six hundred eighty seven millimeters from the branch...

goshiki: o-okay! *eats whistle* *speaks in whistle*

kageyama: oh my goodness, goshiki. can't you do anything right for once?

hinata: kageyama!

kageyama: what? you're mad at my heartlessness now, huh?

goshiki: *speaks in whistle*

hinata: i didn't say you were heartless! i just...

kageyama: you just what, hinata? are telling me off for prioritizing your safety over trying to sugarcoat my words for this... this goddamned snake?!

goshiki: *hisses in whistle*

hinata: i don't understand why you hate humans so much, kageyama, but please consider--

goshiki: *screams in whistle*

hinata: ... you're ruining the fucking mood, you're right kags, we totally have to leave him here.

kageyama: I NEVER SAID WE LEAVE HIM!

hinata: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SUPPOSE WE DO, THEN?!

tsukishima: *tapping foot on the ground impatiently* i just wanna shoot...

- they jump down from the branch, and the bullet grazes the wood just after they hop off. the three of them take off into the forest surrounding the warehouse, and tsukishima points the gun somewhere random, assuming their direction. -

tsukishima: yay i got to shoot, finally. this is why generic villains are shit...

yamaguchi: oi, newbie. *throws a bazooka at tsukishima*

tsukishima: fucking-- *catches bazooka and almost dies* --shit.

yamaguchi: if 'ya gonna do somethin', do it right fer once, 'ya stinkin' aristocrat-io kid, what'ver. *lights a cigarette* this last one's 'yer final test 'fore we move 'ya to a different camp. *smokes* do 'yer shit well.

hinata: where did that guy come from?

kageyama: i don't know, but you guys should put your gas masks on. i'm about to gas this place. to buy us time. we could get away from here for now and report to hq. there's always a next time for this mission.

hinata: but--

kageyama: it's okay. i'll shoulder all the blame for our failure. our primary goal for now is to escape in one piece.

hinata: ... it's not that. i-i'll be willing to take on the punishments as well. as long as goshiki takes all the pay cuts. *puts on gas mask*