Oikawa: Hmmm... what if Ushiwaka-chan gets a child in the future and then there would be one time when he would either get mad at the child and slap his back or something or when they would be laughing and then he just says "son you r so funny" before unconsciously landing a hand on the child's head or whatever?
Iwaizumi: So? What's the idea?
Oikawa: Can you not ATLEAST SEE THE POINT OF WHAT I HAD TOLD YOU OMG IWA-CHAN JUST IMAGINE WHAT WOULD BE THE OUTCOME OF THINGS IF HE SLAPS THE CHILD ON THE BACK OR ON THE HEAD
Iwaizumi: That would hurt.
... wait. Wait, that would hurt.
Oikawa: HAVE U FINALLY REALIZED
Iwaizumi: THE CHILD WOULD DIE
Oikawa: HE WOULD HAVE HIS HEAD BURRIED UNDER THE SAND IF THEY'RE ON A BEACH
Iwaizumi: HOLY SHIT UR RIGHT
Oikawa: OR MAYBE HE'D GET THE STONES PLANTED ON HIS FACE IF THEY'RE ON A ROCKY PLACE
Iwaizumi: OH MY GOD SHITTYKAWA HOW COULD YOU
Oikawa: I MUST STOP HIM FROM GETTING HIMSELF A SON
Iwaizumi: BUT HOW
Oikawa: I DON'T KNOW. U HAVE ANY IDEAS?
Iwaizumi: NOPE. NONE OF THEM.
Oikawa: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO I WANT TO SAVE THE CHILD'S LIFE
Iwaizumi: HIS SPIKES LITERALLY KILL THE FLOOR AND THE VOLLEYBALL WTF R WE SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM
Oikawa: WHY U ASK ME
Iwaizumi: OH NO J--
Ushijima: Then come to Shiratorizawa, Mr. Oikawa Tooru.
Oikawa: ...
Iwaizumi: ...
Oikawa: ....
Iwaizumi: ...
Oikawa: What
Iwaizumi: The
Ushijima: FUCK
Tendou: ME
Oikawa: ... *faces iwa* RUN
YOU ARE READING
haikyuu headcanons
Fanfictioni wrote this as a deluded 14 year old who thought i was important. read if you will but don't let it determine your impression of my humor; i'm actually funny guys (lies). i'm better now (lies).
