3.1 | Flawless | ✔

25 - We Are Family

Symphony - Clean Bandit feat. Zara Larsson

25 - We Are Family

Word count: 1967

An update two days in a row???? How amazing am I?

I couldn't resist updating again. Everything is beginning to piece together in my brain and I need to put it down on documents before I lose it. Enjoy!!

  "Smiling doesn't necessarily mean you're happy. Sometimes it just means you are strong."  

***

I'm tired. So tired. I want everything to stop. People are fighting because of me. I feel so guilty. It's eating me up. 

Alan picked me up, noticing my horrible mood and my red, bloody nose and asked whether I wanted to go home or not. I told him I wanted to go somewhere where I could be alone and think for a while. Somewhere I could have one thought on my mind, not millions. 

So Alan took me to the park. The same park where I saw Callum a couple of weeks ago. It's shocking how quickly time has flown by. It felt like yesterday when I started here when in reality, it's been weeks. 

Soon, school will be finishing and then what? Will I go back to acting and modeling? Being away from the whirlwind of fame has made me at peace. Sure, I'm worrying about Callum and Jason but the first few days here, the media weren't ganging up on me. I didn't have to worry about looking good and doing the right things. I could breathe. 

Going back to LA would mean leaving Hannah, Ares, and Athena. I don't want to do that. In the short time, I've been with them, I have treasured my time with them. They brought back that sense of normality I needed. 

 Perhaps I could stay here. I could live with Casey and continue attending the school here. That way, I can make amends with everyone. Like my parents. 

It's time to see them. I think. I've been here for a while now, they must know I'm back in town and are probably devastated that I haven't come to see them. Despite their negligence, I will always love them. How could I not? They still raised me. And Martin, he is my brother. I will always love him too. If I can forgive Brock, I can definitely forgive Martin. 

Walking through the park without anyone with me, I enjoy the time alone. Sometimes, everybody needs to stop, have a short break and breathe. That's exactly how I feel right now. 

Whilst walking, I think about what I should do.  With the courage I currently have, I change the direction I'm walking in and head off to my old house. Who knows when the next time will be when I have this courage? I doubt it will be anytime soon. 

The walk is short, shorter than I remembered. Maybe I'm walking faster than I'm supposed to. Stupid anxiety. 

Finally, I reach my old house. My parent's car is parked in the driveway, along with Martin's. I'm curious as to why his car is there, it should be at his college, with him. Is he skipping college and visiting or...?

In no time at all, I'm standing on the small porch, outside of my own home. My breaths are suddenly coming out rugged. I...what am I doing?