I feel like shit.
My whole body hurts, I felt like everything is burning, I want to cry out but i can't there's something stopping me. My eyes barely work with me I see I'm in a white room and I'm connected to tubes and I have one connected to my mouth, my body felt so weak, but I still manage to rip out the tube from my mouth and IV's connected to me. Nurses rush in and try to clam me down but I don't let them, I just want to die .
But
They won't let me they stab me with a needle and I fade back int dakness. The next time I wake up I feel even weaker than before I just lay my head back and close my eyes
"Looks who's awake"
I freeze.
"What the fuck were you thinking!? You fucking idiot why would you do something that fucking stupid, your supposed to have more sense than this! Ugh! And you haven't ate a single thing in days, Why Evan!"
I look away from him and mutter
"I want to die"
"What the fuck you say?!"
I get angry "I wanted to fucking die Connor okay?!!"
I nearly yell at him turning to face him then realized my outbrust and look down at my hands
"Sorry" I mutter looking down at my hands. Why is he here? He hates me, I'm just a burden, a bother.
I grip the sheets "ev-"
"You can go, I'm sorry you had to come here...I won't bother you again" I say turning away from him.
"Look about the party i-"
"No it's fine I understand" I interrupt.
He sighs irritated
"Let me fucking talk, like I was saying at the pa-"
"Connor it's fine I get it, y-you h-hate me, I d-d-don't even know why your h-here" I stutter out. He starts pacing the room suddenly he reaches out too me and I cower in fear and he notices. He retracts his hand back I refuse to meet his eye.
"Fuck!"
He says and kicks a wall I wince at the loud noise.
He exit the room without another word to me, I try to go back to sleep but then Jared comes in angry too but he holds his anger back and gives me a light punch in the shoulder.
"..hey acorn"
He says his voice sounds horse.
"How do you feel?" He asks sitting in a chair.
"Weak and exhausted"
I mutter he nods
"Makes sense you were in little coma for at least four days, they had to feed you though a tube, whatever you took really messed you up"
I look away from him, he continues talking.
"No questions?"
I sigh "H-how did I wind up here?"
I ask Jared sighs "I kept texting you and texting you but you wouldn't reply so me and Connor finally went to check on you, but when we got there you didn't answer the door so I used my key and we checked the house but you were already gone...Connor was the one who found your note. I never seen anyone bolt out a place so quickly, luckily your predictable so we decided to check the park. Connor and I were running everywhere......it was Connor who found you, y-you were slumped over face in the dirt. Your body cold and I could barely feel your heart beat. Connor wouldn't let me carry you, he was clutching onto you so tight, I've never seen Connor cry but that night he was balling his eyes out muttering about how stupid he was and shit. I think he was even crying into your hair I can't remember, but it was a fight at the hospital he didn't want to let you go, it was like he was afraid to let you go we had to pry you from him."
Jared finishes tears in his eyes.
I felt guilty
I made them feel like this,I'm such an asshole.
"W-what about my mom?"
I ask Jared he wipes his eyes quickly
"She was here crying and crying. Actually both her and Connor were crying together I think they get along pretty well."
I nod.
"Connor stayed at the hospital almost all day and everyday, he really cares for you...." Jared trails off.
"Your mom probably wants to see you.." Jared says then comes up to me and hugs me tightly
"Acron what were you thinking?" He wishpers then leaves, my mom comes in a crying mess.
"Evvy!" She crys then comes and clings onto me, holding me tightly and crying into my hair unable to speak I hug her back. After a while she pulls back but doesn't let me go
"Ev why baby?"
She sniffed I look away "I'm sorry I'm such a mess" I say
"Your not a mess baby" she says stroking my hair softly. "You scared me to death" she crys again hugging me
"You would've been better off without me" I say tears coming to my eyes she wipes my eyes
"No your the only good thing in my life Evan! Everything I do is for you, I love you, without you I don't know what I w-would do"
She breaks down, we hold each other for a while. Doctors and nurses come and go but mom stays by my side the whole time.
I close my eyes feeling exhausted.
Maybe I shouldn't have asked Connor to leave but...I don't know.
"Evan why didn't you ever tell me about Connor?"
Mom asked suddenly I weakly shrug.
"how do you feel?"
She asked. I still felt numb and empty.
"I'm okay" I lie she sighs and looks at her watch and frown
"Honey do you want me to stay? I can call into work" she asks I froce a smile
"N-no mom I'm fine, you can go to work"
She looks at me with doubt in her eyes but doesn't fight me on it she just kisses my head, holds me for a second and then shes gone again
