Dear Evan Hansen
..I feel like that's so stupid this is so stupid. These letters aren't helping,my medicine isn't helping, the therapist isn't working.
nothing works for me
I sigh I was in the library alone rewriting my letter. I wanted to make this letter look like I'm getting better and that I'm actually happy but instead I just let my emotions take over.
Dear Mr...Nobody
Yeah that's exactly who cares Nobody.
Today was another awful day in the life of Evan Hansen, I'm trying to do as mom would say and look on the postive side! But....it's just not working but why would it? Nothing works if I'm involved I'm a mistake I'm I'm defective. The tree nerd the other school loser besides conner Murphy but in all truth he isn't even a loser like me he just likes to wear black, who doesn't? I'm a burden to everyone around me. My only friend isn't even a firend he just uses me so his parents pay his car insurance. Im too different,maybe it would be better if I wasn't here if i just disappaer then everyone could be happier.
Looking down at my cast I shake my head I can't do anything right.
I hit print and log out of my account on the computer, wait why did I hit print? Force of habit I guess...
I turn around and suddenly my anxiety hit overload. There was Conner Murphy standing next to the printer.
Breathe
I had to remind myself. What if hes angry and wants to beat me up? Oh god I don't want to get beat up
Inhale exhale inhale exale
"Hey tree boy"
Connor suddenly says walking up to me I suddenly flinch back
"J-ust not the face!"
I exclaimed while hiding behind my cast.
"Tree boy I'm not going to hit you"
I open a eye "y-your not?"
He shakes his head yes I lower my arms but still keep a distance wary of his actions.
"So uh how did you break your arm?"
Connor asked awkwardly "I um feel outofatree" I say too quickly my words getting bunched up at the end. Connor laughs to the point he doubles over.
"That's the fucking sadest thing ever"
I look at my show laces
"Um yeah" I agree that what I'm supposed I do right?
"Hey nobody sign your cast?"
He asked I nooded "here I'll sign it"
"n-n-no it's okay" I say in an attempted to stop him but to my dismay he had already wrote his name in big,messy letters.
"There now we both can pretend we have friends"Connor grinned weakly.
"uh um good point"
I mumble. Connor stands there awkwardly "well um I think this is yours" he says holding out my letter toward me I gently and quickly
"Thanks"
I say folding it up "I got to go, maybe we can hang out sometime?". Connor asked.
"Oh um sure?"
I say unsure what if it was some kind of joke? What if he's just messing with me or it's part of a bigger plan?
