Chapter 23: Longing

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REY'S POV:

I feel him.  His thoughts and his deep desires surge through my veins like a flood.  I am embraced tightly by his powerful frame; I lay my left cheek against his chest and I can hear his heart racing.  He pulls me slightly away from his torso; he looks down at me with those soft brown eyes I saw that night in my quarters.

"Rey...," he says slowly

I look up at him, absorbing in his gentle stares.

"Yes," I reply with a tear coming down my face.

"Nothing," he responds.

Kylo Ren starts lifting me up to a standing position.  We stand in the center of the circle locked in our embrace.  I turn my head up to him.

"After that, I don't want to train further today," I say to him turning my head away.

"Yes, let us return," He says, unlocking his arms from around my back.

He fully releases me as he walks past me out of the sparring room. I start following behind him. "Are his thoughts mine? He has a deeply seeded conflict beginning to rise.  The light is fighting his darkness every moment; I feel it, I can see it now he can't hide it anymore...," I tell myself.

We make our way to his quarters after a silent elevator ride. Making his way past the entryway towards the large dining table; he places his fists on the top and lowers his head down.

"Tomorrow we arrive at Vardos, I will be in the bridge all day.  I will not be training with you," He says somberly. 

I stare at him. I sense his conflict.

"Could this be why he doesn't want to train with me tomorrow? Doubtful..." I say to myself.

He turns around in a hurry and faces me.  His once soft face turns to sharp stone. 

"Do not confuse yourself with what you may be sensing from me, Rey," He says harshly.

I can't speak.  I calmly close my eyes and a single tear falls down my cheek. I open my eyes and gradually start walking to my quarters. Looking straight past him I walk through my door and the door closes promptly behind me.

I stand with my back resting against the closed door, wiping the tear from my cheek.  Even though we are separated, I feel him.  He is frustrated by his reaction to me.  I feel the yearning he has wanting to be near me and the conflict that brings.

I feel the desire to be next to him growing.  I need to distract myself in any way that I can or I will be consumed with these thoughts and feelings. 

"Are these my desires I feel inside...or his?" I question myself.  I feel his touch through the force in response to my question.  None of my thoughts are protected anymore.  

I bang my head against the door and walk toward the center of the room. 

"How will this all end?" I say aloud to the empty room.

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