To grive

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The next morning I was up and moving just as Glenn had said. I avoided my dad and made my way into the street. Carl told me where his apartment was so I headed towards where he lived. I was excited over the fact that we might find Shane, hell, for all I know he could be in town right now! Shane was a smart man, pretty logical. And a protector. A survivor. Surely he would be alive, right? My knocks echoed slightly on the empty street. The door creaked open to reveal a bed headed Carl. I put my hands over my mouth to stifle a giggle.

"What're you laughing at?" He smirked, pulling my inside by the waist. He lead me to the couch and sat me down, "Guess what."

"What?"

"It's later." Carl said with his signature half smile as my cheeks started to heat up.

He started kissing me, doing exactly what he did yesterday. My brain fogged over when we kissed, like I was high. By the time he had given me a pretty good hickey, I remembered what I was here for. I pushed him off me lightly, missing the feeling of his skin on mine.

"As much as I'm enjoying this, this is not what I came here for." I said, and he pouted slightly, jutting out his bottom lip. The only thing my mind could manage was how cute he looked. I couldn't help it, I started kissing him again. He had me on my back on the couch, one leg in between my own. .

"Okay, what did you need?" Carl asked, pulling away unexpectedly and leaving me completely confused.

"Wait, huh? Oh yeah! For one, do you remember after Rick got shot, and you got brought to a little girls house. You guys played truth or dare in her tree house and um..stuff." I had to make sure that wasn't a fever dream but an actual memory.

"How did you know that?" Carl asked, looking at me like I had 3 heads.

"I was that little girl Carl! Remember? I said my name was Vallory." I said the last sentence in a Duhh voice.

"Oh my god, so you were my first kiss." Carl smiled, pecking me on the lips.

"And you were mine." I replied with a smile, "I also wanted to ask you, do you know where Shane went when shit hit the fan?" Carl paled.

Carl's eyes turned from baby blue to icy blue within seconds. His face became hard and he stiffened. I stared right into my eyes and was stunned at what I saw...

It was Rick. H-he was talking to someone. Shane was walking behind him, but I wasn't paying attention to Shane, I was paying attention to the little boy with the gun aimed at him. Carl! A flash went off and Shane hit the ground.

I gasped and tears pricked my eyes. It....it was Carl! He killed Shane! How could he? Shane was my father when Daryl wasn't.

"You...you killed him." I whispered, horrified, Carl gave me a confused look, "H-how could you do that to him?! After everything he's done for you!" I started raising my voice.

"No Val it wasn't like that." Carl stated frantically but I cut him off.

"After trying so hard to help you after Rick got shot?! After making sure you were safe?! You practically killed my fucking father Carl!" I was screaming at him now, "H-he promised he's find us! You know, if you wouldn't have killed Shane then he would have found my family and they wouldn't be dead right now! This is all your fault Carl! You ruined my life!" I stormed out of his house, ignoring his sobs.

I sprinted home, trying to ignore the sobs racking my shoulder. I threw myself into my bed and cried, and I guess pretty loudly to because my father stormed into my bedroom. He had his hands like he was reaching for his crossbow. I guess old habits did hard. My dad just pulled me into a hug and told me everything was going to be alright.

The next couple of weeks were spent in my room eating Icecream and listening to depressing music on the iPod I found back in the subway when we were still in Georgia. I was a hot mess. I refused to talk to anyone unless I was asking for food or something. Hell, I didn't even leave my room unless I needed food. I had my own bathroom so that necessity was covered. Today was a day where I wanted to go out for the first time in about 2 weeks. The nearest place was a small park, so I went there. It was really cloudy, setting the atmosphere to a really grey as depressing scene. I just swung on the swings for about an hour, just thinking. And crying. I've been doing a lot if that lately. From down the street, I saw kids around my age start to head in this direction so I decided it was time to go home. During my grieving stage, avoiding Carl was mandatory. Sadly, the government recently cleared out a school nearby so we would be stuck going there again. Considering we went almost 4 years without an education at all, we were probably all going to be idiots. We've all spent so much time trying to survive instead if focusing on math or science. Actually, a lot of people might have who were looking for a cure. So up until next week I will be avoiding Carl at all costs. He probably doesn't even care anyways.

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