The Homo Norm - WattPride

twenty eight - apology

JULES WAS in her room doing her homework when someone knocked on the door.  

"Come in," her voice came out slightly groggy but it was audible enough.

She heard the door open and when she turned towards it, Jules saw Bryce standing there. Her whole body went stiff.

"What are you doing here?" she asked while trying to keep her voice even.

Bryce inched forward in a cautious manner, as though Jules was a wounded wild animal. Vulnerable but dangerous.

"I came to talk to you," he said.

"There's nothing to talk about," she looked away from him and decided to concentrate on her homework.

"Yes, there is." Said Bryce in a strained voice. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened in the washroom-"

"Are you now?" she interrupted with a slight irritation in her voice.

"Just-just here me out, OK?!" Bryce almost shouted.

Jules remained silent.

"I know I should have tried my best to convince Mason not to beat you up, and I'm sorry that I didn't help-"

"Why did you beat me up, Bryce?" she asked, her voice steady.

Jules felt his hesitation without even looking at him.

"I . . ." he began. "I . . . kinda panicked."

Jules, not believing her ears, rolled her eyes and turned to him once again. "You panicked."

Bryce nodded and was about to add something when Jules cut him off.

"Because you're scared of people finding out that you have feelings for me, right? You can't stand the thought of your fellow students seeing you as someone weird, can you?"

"I-"

"Oh, and let me guess. You care about your stupid reputation that made you help Mason in beating me up so that he won't break up with you, right?"

"Jules, listen-"

"I don't want to listen!" She stood up abruptly, hair flying in her face as emotions got lodged in her throat. "Dammit! I don't want to listen to what you have to say because I've been thinking a lot about what happened today."

She looked at her carpeted floor. "I get it, you're scared. But there are just some things that fear shouldn't let you do."

Jules looked at him. "Like betrayal."

"Jules . . ."

"I won't blame you for being scared," she continued as though he hadn't spoken. "I'm now scared too. But, that doesn't mean I'll just stand there like I don't know you while you get beaten up."

She turned away from him and went back to her desk. "You just stood there, Bryce. And you know what's worse?"

"What?"

"You helping Mason in beating me up. That's what."