Almost There

- 35 -

It was January 11th, a Tuesday, and Tess was still getting into the swing of her second semester classes. Most of her blocks were the same—she still had Spanish, Calc, Chem, Literature, and Senior English—but she had swapped SAT Prep for P.E., which she took with Jacqui, and Sociology had been replaced with Marine Bio. The new schedule didn't promise any significant changes in homework load, that much was for sure; as Tess packed her backpack at the end of the day, she thought it seemed just as heavy as it always had.

"Hey, Tess?"

Tess turned around at the sound of her name, still zipping up her backpack. "Oh." It was Tisha.

"Do you have a minute?" Tisha asked, looking anywhere but at Tess's face.

A wave of trepidation passed over Tess. What could Tisha possibly want? But she nodded her head and closed her locker. "Sure. My mom's waiting outside, but I guess I have a minute."

Tisha turned away. At first, Tess didn't understand—had she changed her mind about talking?—but then she realized that Tisha was leading the way out of the hallway, where students were still milling around. Tess followed, slinging her backpack over her shoulder, until Tisha slipped into an empty room Tess had never been in before.

Looking around, Tess guessed it was the school newspaper office. There were printed page layouts on a central table, banks of computers along the sides of the room, and photos pinned up to all the walls—the homecoming dance, football and basketball games, choir and band events, and more.

Tess hesitated a few steps into the room, feeling like an intruder. "Is everything okay, Tisha?"

"I don't know." Tisha closed the door behind her and then turned to look at Tess.

With another glance around the room, Tess shifted awkwardly on her feet. "Should we be in here?"

"Don't look so nervous. I'm the student editor. Besides, everything's done by last bell. We'll be alone." Tisha sighed, and it sounded like she was talking more to herself when she continued, "I don't know why I'm even talking to you."

Tess had a guess as to why Tisha had sought her out for a secret meeting. She was queasy with nerves about the impending fight, but she needed Tisha to hear her side. She decided to be brave and speak first. "Listen, Tisha...if I'd known about you and Isaac, I don't think I would have done things in the same way. But I met him in summer school, even before I met you, and we just hit it off. I'm sorry."

"It's not that," Tisha said. "You can have him."

This comment took Tess so off guard that her mind went blank. "What?" She'd thought Tisha had been so quiet around her and the others, so guarded, because of jealousy or hurt. After all, living through the high school rumor mill only to see your ex-boyfriend with another girl was a recipe for serious heartbreak.

"I just don't think you should take him. Tess, I have to tell you something I haven't told anyone else, because if I don't tell you I'm afraid...things will turn out bad."

Tess clutched the strap of her backpack, her palms clammy. "Okay?"

"Remember a few months back, like, at the start of school? Those rumors those guys were passing around were true." Tisha was staring at the floor. It was almost as if she had folded in on herself, like she was a shadow instead of a girl. "They weren't lying."

Tess thought back to what she'd heard in the hallway months before—the comments Tisha had overheard when she and the others were discussing them at lunch. Acting as natural as she could, she said, "That doesn't matter, Tisha. What you and Isaac did isn't...it isn't my business. And it isn't those guys' business, either. They're just being jerks, and everyone knows it."

The catch in Tisha's voice betrayed that she was near to tears. Tess realized with shock that the girl was shaking. "But they're right. I didn't want to, Tess, but I did. I told him I wanted to wait. But it was so important to him. He said if I loved him, I'd do it."

Her stomach sinking, Tess stared at Tisha, unsure what to do. She felt like she should reach out and put a hand on Tisha's shoulder, but at the same time, this didn't feel like an interaction between friends, and it felt wrong to bridge the several feet of sterile space between them. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know what I'm saying. Just—be careful, okay? I couldn't live with myself if I didn't say something. Please don't tell anyone." Tisha turned away and rushed out into the hall, leaving Tess in the dim classroom alone.

Tess tried to piece together what Tisha had just confessed to her. The rumors were true? But it had sounded like Tisha hadn't wanted it—and if that was the case, didn't that mean...didn't that mean it had been assault?

Shock kept her from moving. Realizing that the boy she liked so much might have hurt Tisha made her feel like she'd been punched in the stomach. Her concern for Tisha took over, and Tess burst into the hallway. "Tisha? Tisha, wait!"

But Tisha was nowhere to be found. Tess stood there in the empty hallway for a moment, her mind in a constant loop.

Isaac wouldn't do that.

But Tisha wouldn't lie, would she?

Isaac wouldn't do that. Hadn't he invited Tess to spend the night and backed off when she said no? Maybe Tisha was confused about what had happened. Maybe she regretted it. Maybe this was her way to get back at Tess for being with Isaac; maybe she still loved him.

"Hey."

The sound of an unfamiliar voice broke into her thoughts and startled her so badly that she jumped. She turned to see a custodian standing behind her, a spray bottle in one hand and a rag in the other. He frowned. "You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just going to meet my mom." Tess didn't wait for him to respond. She hastened down the hallway to the front courtyard, where her mom's car waited at the curb.