If Not For You

Chapter 39

Ben stood there refusing to hit back and Paul moved to hit him again.  Ben spit out a mouthful of blood and remained quiet.  Jenna jumped in the middle separating her cousin from her boyfriend.  "Stop it Paul.  What is wrong with you?"

Paul took a step back and responded.  "How could you do this to me man?  I trusted you.  How could you not tell me?"

Ben stood there silent.  The reason as to why he didn't tell Paul was because Jenna had asked him not to.  He wasn't going to push the blame off on her though because in the end he had agreed.  "I'm sorry man.  I didn't think about telling you.  I took care of it."

"Really man.  Because what I saw didn't look like you took care of it."  Paul took a step towards Ben and Jenna stayed in her position between them.  "Get out of my way Jenna."  Jenna refused to move.  Paul glared at her as if he was going to kill.  Paul reached out and pulled Jenna out of the way.  Before he could make contact with Ben again Jax intervened.

"What the hell is going on?"  Jax stood there holding back Paul while Ben and Jenna remained silent.

"What happened here is your best friend just informed me that my cousin was attacked by Killer and nobody thought that I should know about it."  Paul was disgusted.

Jax looked over at Lena and back to Jenna.  "Look, Paul it was a hard decision to make.  We just didn't see any advantage in telling you about it.  What was done was done."

Paul's jaw dropped in disbelief.  "Are you freaking telling me you all knew about this?"  The look on his face was utter betrayal.  Jax clearly had missed the part where Jenna and Ben voided Jax and Lena from the story.

Jax wasn't sure what to say.  He didn't want to make it worse.  He wasn't sure of what all they had told Paul and he didn't want to reveal more than they had wanted to.  Jenna was standing against the wall fighting back her tears.  Lena was standing next to her rubbing her arm to comfort her.

Paul stood there realizing there wasn't an explanation coming and he fought back.  "You guys are supposed to be my friends and you all kept this from me.  I can't trust anybody.  She is my family.  You had an obligation as my friends to tell me about this.  I can't even believe this is happening.  I have always backed you guys up, always.  No matter what you needed I was there.  And this is how you repay me."  He was so upset he was shaking.  "That asshole did that to my family and your initial thought is to sweep it under the carpet.  Do you have so little respect for me and my family that you allowed that to happen to the girl you supposedly love...but you handled it?  Who needs the cops?  Who needs justice because Jax and Ben have it all under control?  If you had handled it that asshole wouldn't still be walking.  That asshole should be in a hole somewhere."

Ben just stood there.  He wanted to make things right he wanted to explain that he had wanted to tell him.  He had wanted to get the cops.  But he couldn't do that to Jenna.  They had all agreed to it at the end of the night.  Ben didn't even know where to begin to make this right with Paul without calling out Jenna.  "Paul I'm sorry."  He was sorry.  He couldn't have been more sorry.  His apology couldn't even begin to describe how sorry he was.  He was sorry for not making Jenna go to the cops, he had been sorry about that for a while.  He was sorry that he didn't tell Paul.  But he couldn't say any of that.  As long as he wanted to protect Jenna he would have to sacrifice Paul.

Paul just stood there screaming at Ben.  "We are so done.  Everything I've ever done for you was a mistake."

Jenna stepped forward.  "Stop it Paul.  Don't blame them.  I made them promise that they wouldn't go to the cops.  I made them promise not to tell you."  Jenna looked Paul in the eyes and held his gaze.  She couldn't let her friends take the blame.  All they had ever done was do what she asked them to do. "How would I come to you and tell you that I was almost raped?  I couldn't.  Just like I couldn't come to you last year when when I was raped."  Jenna was tired of hiding.  She was tired of trying to let everyone else think that everything was okay.  Everything was not okay.