If Not For You

Chapter 1

Ben stepped out of the car after pulling it over to the side of the road.  By the time he got around the front of the car to check out the damage the deer that had caused the whole commotion was long out of sight.  Somewhere in these woods it was.  Ben wasn’t sure if he had hurt it or not but by the lack of major damage he assumed that he hadn’t.

                Ben let out a sigh of relief.  If he damaged the car his father would kill him.  Even though he bought the car with his own money and makes the insurance payments on his own also, that doesn’t stop his short tempered father from making him accountable as if it where his own vehicle.    The dent was barely noticeable and all that was noticeable was the cracked headlight.  He got back into his car and drove to his friend Jax’s house.  Jax would ride with him to Advanced Auto to get the part he needed.

                It was summer, right before his senior year.  It was his favorite time of year.  Ben played football.  He didn’t particularly like football but what he did like was that as long as he played football in the fall he didn’t have to work.  It was a sort of loophole with his dad.  Not that his dad particularly cared about football or even anything that playing football could give Ben, but Ben did well in the sport.  Anytime his sons got recognition, Ben’s father found the validation in other people that he needed.  As long as other people thought his kids were a success, it made him a success.

                It was the middle of the day.  He had just gotten done with his morning practice.  He was on his way over to see Kelly at her house to hang out until his afternoon practice began.  He tried to spend as little time as possible at home and Kelly’s house was just a few minutes from the school.  Kelly was a girl in his grade who just wanted to be with him on any terms.  She didn’t expect much from life which was fortunate because there wasn’t much she was going to get out of it.  At the end of the day it didn’t matter who or what she had to go through to get there, she went after what she wanted and if she didn’t get what she wanted, she would destroy it before she would allow someone else to have it.

                Ben had been going over to Kelly’s in between practices for the last week now.  He had met her at a party in the beginning of summer.  They had always known each other.  Their town was rather small and the school wasn’t very large either.  They never really ran with the same crowd.  Ben didn’t have a lot of time to spend with friends.  He was either working at a job or working at home.  He didn’t have much free time, where with Kelly, all she had was free time.  Free time in which she filled with lots of drama and sleeping around. 

                About a month before the party Kelly had just started sleeping with Ben’s friend Jake.  Kelly was using Jake.  She had a class with Ben and had fallen in love with him.  She knew about his dysfunctional family and for some reason she just wanted to be a part of it.  He had never been in a real relationship and that just seemed like a challenge that was just too good to pass up.  At first she thought he was dating a girl named Lena, because Lena seemed to always be around him.  He and Lena sat next to each other in class and Kelly always saw them walking to and from together.  After some inquiries she made through Jake, Kelly found out in fact they were just friends. 

                She noticed that if she stayed hanging around Jake who seemed to have a liking for her, she would eventually have a run in with Ben.  Kelly convinced herself that she had real feelings for Ben and what better way to be a temptation than to be the girlfriend of your friend.  Or so it made sense in Kelly’s head.  So at this party, in the beginning of the summer, Kelly wore her tightest skirt and lowest cut tank top she owned.  As soon as they got there Jake and Ben started talking about football.  Kelly used all her wily charms on Ben.   Kelly downed half a bottle of peach schnapps before the bon fire was lit.  She had tried to get in on a conversation with Ben but he had been talking with jax and Lena for the last half hour. 

                She went to Jake’s car to get another pack of cigarettes out.  She lit one and headed to the bonfire just as Lena was walking into the woods.  Lena quick looked over her shoulder to make sure nobody was following her.  It was just at that moment that Kelly noticed Ben was gone.  Her heart stopped and her throat closed in and went dry.  She slowly crept in the woods after Lena.  She went in shallowly just enough to cover her from the crowd behind her but not too far in.  She wanted to let her eyes adjust to the darkness before she would allow herself to take in the sight that would kill her inside. 

                After a few seconds her eyes adjusted.  She heard a muffled giggle and a twig snap.  What she saw when she took a few more steps in that direction was Lena’s small features facing Kelly with her back pushed up against a tree.  She saw the back of a guy with a blue hat, jeans and a black t-shirt. She tried to think back to what Ben had been wearing.  He always wore a hat but she couldn’t remember which one he had on tonight.  She also remembered checking out his fine ass but couldn’t remember what colored shirt he had on. She couldn’t see the boys face because it was buried in Lena's neck, his hands all over her.  Kelly’s breath drew back as she caught this whole scene.  After a few more seconds of watching the couple making out she backed out of the woods to the warmth of the bonfire after she saw Ben unbutton Lena’s shirt and heard the sound of a zipper.  Even though it was a warm summer night Kelly felt chilled.

                A combination if what she saw and what she drank made Kelly nauseous.  She made her way into the house.  As she walked towards the back of the house trying to figure out where the bathroom was she stopped short.  There was Ben in the living room with a large garbage bag cleaning up the house.  She backed up into the hall to where she had noticed her reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall when she just walked past.  She stopped in front of it and fixed herself up.  She got ready to go back into the living room and make her entrance.  Ready to put her plan into action.

                Ben looked up and noticed Kelly standing there looking at him.  He wasn’t sure why she was looking at him like that.  She looked like his dad after he gets done telling them everything they did wrong.  She was standing in the doorway with a goofy grin on her face.  “If you’re looking for the bathroom it’s across the hall”.

“I wasn’t looking for the bathroom, I was looking for you.” Kelly said trying to be pouty.  She was sauntering towards him attempting to project sexuality.

“Um well I’m not sure why, but I guess you were successful.  I’m not sure where Jake went.”  And with that he went back to throwing plastic cups in the garbage bag.  Turning his back to her. 

“I’m not sure where Jake is either.  Jake isn’t who I was looking for.  I like you.”  She stepped in front of him and grabbed his upper arms pulling him towards her.  “It may be because I’m drunk or it might be because you’re so hot, but I like you.”  And with that she presses her lips on his. She wraps her arms around his neck and presses her body against his.  She pulls away once she realizes he isn’t kissing back.  “Well that was awkward” Kelly looks up at him.

“Look, you are going out with my friend.  You were just with him 20 minutes ago, so let’s blame it on you being drunk and we’ll pretend this didn’t happen.  I would never end a friendship over a girl.”  Ben stood there glaring at her.  He then turned and walked out the back door back to the group.

                Kelly makes her way back to the campfire and back to Jake.  After she finds him she wraps her arms around him and looks back to see Ben talking to Lena and Jax.  Jax was wearing a blue hat and black t shirt.