If Not For You

Chapter 30

When Ben made it over to an open space behind the few people that remained he turned to Jax.  "Look man we have to talk."

Jax took a step back from Ben.  "Nothing ever good happens after that statement."  Regardless he stood there squared his shoulders and put his hands on his hips.  Waiting.

Ben took a deep breath.  "Alright, now you need to hear me out before you do anything rash okay."  Jax reluctantly nodded.

"I slept with Lena."  He just wanted it over with.  Although as soon as the words came out of his mouth and he saw Jax's reaction he knew that he had taken the wrong approach.  "Wait, wait, wait, it was last year.  Way before you guys even liked each other."

"What?  You slept with my girlfriend."  Jax looked really hurt.

"Technically, no, I didn't sleep with your girlfriend, I slept with Lena.  She wasn't your girlfriend at the time."  Ben wasn't sure what was in Jax's, mind he just continued to stand there looking down in the sand.

"Really?  Does saying it that way really make you think it is okay?"  Jax looked pissed he was clenching his fists.  Ben knew that if Jax swung at him he would stand there and take it.  He deserved it.

"No it's not okay.  I should have told you sooner."  Ben could've said more but everything else he could say just sounded like an excuse and he didn't want to make excuses.  The important part was he hurt his friend and he was sorry.

"What does Jenna think about all this?"  Jax still wouldn't look at him.

"I'm not sure.  Lena is telling her now."  He looked over his shoulder towards the girls but he couldn't tell what was happening because Jenna's back was to him.

"Damn man.  Your sex life is really destroying your life, huh.  So did you guys have feelings for each other?  How many times was it?"  Jax wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer to those questions but he needed to know.  He tried to think back if at any time it seemed like the two were anything more than just friends.

"It happened once.  Lena found me in the woods.  I had just gotten into a fight with my dad.  A really, really bad fight.  It really saved me that night, but by the next morning we both knew it wasn't what either of us wanted."  Ben knew that wasn't exactly the truth, but he knew that what Lena thought she felt for him wasn't anything close to what she now feels for Jax so what was the point in mentioning it.

"You had to bring up your shitty home life didn't you?  I was going to pound you and then call it even."  Jax looked Ben in the eye.

"I swear man if hitting me will make you feel better, hit me.  Hit me as hard as you want.  I am so sorry that it happened.  And don't be mad at Lena.  I know this has been eating her up, she just didn't want to tell you to protect me."  Ben also knew that this wasn't the complete truth but he didn't want Jax to be mad at Lena, they were so good together.

"Nah man, you've been hit enough in your life.  What is past is past.  I don't ever want to hear about this again okay.  But I swear if you ever touch Laura or my mom I will kill you, you freakin' cousin kisser."  Jax reached out his hand and they shook on it.

"Never man.  I would never, ever do that to you."  Ben knew he would never do anything on purpose to ruin their friendship.

" You really are a freakin' man whore."  Jax shook his head.

"Should we go over there and check on the girls?"  Ben was jumping out of his skin not knowing what Jenna was thinking.

"No way man.  If I know one thing about girls it's that they like to cry and talk everything out to death.  We will just sit here and when they are done they will come to us."  Jax sat down in the sand and started talking about football.

"So we are cool."  Ben was happy it was over and their friendship wasn't a casualty.

Jax tossed up the ball and caught it.  "Didn't I just say we aren't talking about this ever again?"  With that statement Ben knew that it was going to be okay.  He was just hoping that Lena was having the same luck with Jenna.