If Not For You

Chapter 14

“Not until we talk.  We need to talk.”  Kelly said.  “What is she doing here?” Kelly motioned at Jenna who had gotten out of Jax’s truck to see what was going on.

“Uh, hello, wrong question.  The correct question is why are you still sitting in my car.  Get the hell out.”  He stood there glaring at her but she didn’t budge. 

“Look after everything we have been through you can’t just give me ten minutes.”  Kelly was pleading with him.

“What are you talking about?  What “things” have we been through?  You are psycho.”  Ben just wanted to leave but she wouldn’t budge, and as much as he wanted to grab her arm and pull her out of the car he had seen too much violence against his mother that he knew he wouldn’t ever lay hands on a woman.  Jenna laid her hand on Ben’s chest to try to calm him down.  She was attempting to prevent this from escalating into violence.  She didn’t know Ben’s life.  She didn’t know that he wouldn’t lay his hands on Kelly.

“Look why don’t you just give her ten minutes.  Just ten minutes alright Kelly.  And then when it’s over it’s going to be over, okay?”  Jenna tried to get them both to agree to her terms.

“Not until she gets out of my car.”  Ben took a few steps back to show Jenna that he wasn’t going to get physical.

“Yea right.  The minute I get out he’s going to just drive away.”  Kelly whined.

“Look he has to take me home.  I am going to go sit in the grass and I won’t get into the car until your ten minutes is up.  He won’t leave without me.  So get out now and start talking because I’m heading over there now.”  Jenna took an exaggerated step towards the grass.

“Fine,” Kelly said getting out of the car.  “But don’t count on getting a ride home with my man.  After we work us out, he’ll forget all about you.” 

“I’ll worry about that when it happens.”  Jenna laughed at Kelly’s delusion.  “Ten minutes starting now.”  Jenna sat down in the grass her back towards them.  She didn’t have on a watch so she wasn’t sure how she would know when ten minutes was over but she was sure Ben would be wrapping this up shortly.  Or at least she hoped so.  She wanted to get back to her grandmother’s before she got nasty.  After what seemed like hours but was only about 2 minutes because Jenna was counting she laid in the grass and rolled over on her side facing them.  All she saw was Kelly crying talking at Ben and he was just standing there staring at the ground.

“Look, Kelly I am sorry.  I guess in a way I used you.  I used you for a place to hang out.  I used you because I thought your mom and Alex were cool.  But I never told you anything that wasn’t true.  I didn’t lead you on I never told you I liked you.  I never touched you unless you started first.  I’m sorry but that’s the truth.  Believe me if I could take it back I would, but I can’t.”  He bit his tongue about what he really wanted to say, but at this point the whole mess being over was more important than him being right.

“It’s all Jenna’s fault.  If she wouldn’t have come around you would still be with me.  You just like her because she is so innocent.  Guys always like that virgin Mary bullshit.”  Kelly looked vicious.

“Do you really believe the crap that comes out of your own mouth?  It’s not Jenna’s fault, I didn’t stop liking you because of her, I had never liked you to begin with.  We were just friends.  And now we aren’t even that.  Whatever it is you thought we had is over, over because it wasn’t real, not because of anything else.  Time’s up.”  Ben went to go around to the driver’s side but Kelly pushed him back against the car and moved to meet his lips. He gently pushed her off him, more gently than he would have liked and got in the driver’s side and started the car.  Kelly just stood there defeated and Ben pulled up to the grass and told Jenna to get in.  They pulled out of the parking lot and into the night.

                Ben lit up a cigarette and started driving.  He realized a few moments later that he didn’t even know where Jenna lived.  He had met Paul’s grandmother a few times in his life but he never paid attention to where she lived. “Uh, I’m not really sure where you live?”

                “Well that’s comforting.  When you started going in the wrong direction I was a little concerned that you were trying to drive me to the middle of nowhere so you could slit my throat.  What with you now knowing I don’t carry a phone and all.”  Jenna said and gave him directions to get to her grandmother’s house.

                “If you were concerned about me driving you off to the middle of nowhere why would you get in the car with me?”  Ben made a left at the stop sign like Jenna told him.

                “I was interested in seeing how it would play out.”  She said it flatly and he really wasn’t sure what she really meant by it.  “Alright you can stop here.”  She told him to pull over about a block before where she had originally told him to go.

“What, you don’t want me to know where you live?”  Ben asked a little hurt.

                “You can watch me walk to the house if you want to make sure nobody else gets me before you can.  But I don’t want my grandmother seeing me get out of a strange man’s car.  She would totally have a cow.  She already thinks all teenage girls are super sluts so I don’t want to give her ammo.  Although it kind of works out, she tries to prove something that isn’t real and she is totally oblivious to my drinking problem.”  She made a funny face when she said drinking problem so Ben wasn’t sure if she joking or making an astute observation about herself.  “Well goodnight.”  She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.  When she pulled away she opened the door and got out. 

When she crossed the street she motioned for him to put his window down.  “You might want to check under your bed for Kelly when you get home.”  And with that she walked down the block and disappeared into her front door.  He sat there another five minutes to make sure she wasn’t sent back out, dreading the thought of going home.

Ben made a quick trip to the CVS before he went home to face his reality.  When he pulled into the driveway he saw that his dad’s and David’s cars were both there.  He turned off his car and sat in it for a minute debating if he wanted to take the chance.  After a few minutes he shrugged his car and went inside, anticipating the worst.