You Raise Me Up (Artemi Panarin)

42| Thinking About You

Artemi

My time in Russia has been nothing short of incredible so far. And it's nothing I've never done before, but it's everything I've had to do alone. Now I get to do it with someone who makes everything seem incredible and new.

But after her wearing me down all day she convinced me to go drinking with some of my friends out here. I wanted her to come with but she insisted that I go by myself and catch up. She was going to stay back with my grandparents and our dog which was a little scary. There's a lot of embarrassing pictures of me laying around that place and I'm sure my grandma is looking for them as we speak.

She ended up kicking me out after dinner and sends me on my way. One of the requirements I had for going out was that she gave me hourly updates. I arrive at the bar a little after seven and find my friends in the back. I sit down with them before ordering a drink then starting up a conversation.

"It's been a second" Nikita says and I laugh.

"I've actually been in town for a while. Just been busy" I explain.

"Busy doing what" he asks.

"I've been showing my girlfriend around. Showing her the places we have here and where I grew up" I explain.

"Does she like it" he wonders.

"Oh she loves it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up having to go back and she's going to stay here with our dog" I laugh.

"That's cool that she is into you like that. There's a lot of American people that won't come here because they think Russian people are the worst and everything we do is bad" he insists.

"I know. Not everyone is very open minded" I agree. "Luckily for me, Valerie isn't like most people. In fact she's unlike anything I've ever known before" I insist.

"Well I'm happy you guys are doing so well" he smiles.

"Can I tell you something" I say. "And you cannot tell a soul."

"You have my word" he insists.

"I've been looking at engagement rings" I smile and he gasps.

"You... Artemi Panarin... are planning to propose" he scoffs.

"I am! Is that so hard to believe" I ask.

"Yes" he claims and I laugh.

"Well it's true. It's kind of hard to plan out now that she's free and I can spend all my time with her. Since she's been cured I think this is the longest we've gone without seeing each other. She literally forced me to come out here. So it'll be hard for me to try and find a ring, but it'll get done" I promise him.

"When are you going to propose" he wonders.

"I'm not sure. There's things I'm so sure about, like how I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. But as far as how I will ask her to marry me... that's not as clear" I explain.

"I don't think she'll care all that much" he claims.

"I know she won't. But she's a incredible person and deserves a incredible proposal" I insist.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out" he laughs.

"I'm sure I will" I smile.

After a few drinks and a few hours used catching up it was time for me to get home. It was getting late and I missed Valerie and Rafiki. I was having a good time but all good things must come to a end.

I take a cab back to my grandparents house and see Valerie sitting on the front porch. I walk over and sit down on the bench next to her. I set my head on her shoulder and let out a long sigh.

"Long night" she asks.

"I forgot how strong Russian vodka was" I admit.

"What makes you say that" she asks.

"Because I see three of you and that makes me reallly happy" I claim and she giggles.

"Did you have fun with your friends" she asks.

"Yeah. But I missed you" I admit.

"You weren't supposed to be thinking about me" she shuns.

"I'm always thinking about you. When I'm eating, when I'm dreaming, when I'm doing laundry" I claim and she laughs.

"When you're doing laundry" she asks.

"Yeah. Sometimes your stuff gets mixed up with mine and my stuff kind of smells like you. Or I see one of your tiny shirts and it makes me smile because it's like dating a big kid" I chuckle.

"Should I be insulted or complimented" she asks.

"Complimented, obviously" I say.

She starts to run her fingers through my hair and I close my eyes. I listen to the sound of cicadas echo through the country side. The warm breeze hits my face sobering me up a little.

"Do you want to marry me" I ask.

"Excuse me" she asks.

"You know... do you want to get married to me" I ask again.

"Of course I do. Why would you think I wouldn't" she asks.

"When guys like me who are so in love make those types of decisions they get blinded by these types of things. Just because I want to spend my life with you doesn't mean you want the same" I claim.

"Baby, I want it all with you. The good and the bad. The ups and the downs. I want you until I take my very last breath. I promise" she insists.

I left my head and turn to her. She looks up at me and I can feel my heart beating faster. All this time, all the things we've been through, all that stuff means nothing in moments like this. Because it was like the first time I saw her, like I didn't know everything there was to know about her. I didn't know what she scared of, I didn't know of the pain she felt. I haven't felt the pain she felt. It was blissful. It was like our relationship when we first started, it always felt that good.

"What is drunk Artemi thinking about" she asks.

"The same thing the sober one is" I claim. "Thinking about how much I love you."