You Raise Me Up (Artemi Panarin)

31| Awaken

Valerie

"She's coming to" someone says softly. I try to open my eyes but they felt like they were shut together.

"Don't try to do too much Valerie" another voice says as I let my eyelids relax a little.

I try to respond to them but I go to open my mouth and nothing happens. I try and try to say something, anything, but my mouth won't even open. I had no clue as to what was going on and I was kind of terrified.

I feel a warm cloth on my eyes and jump a little. But it made my eyes feel better so I let it happen. Things fade in and out as I try to piece together what was happening. I don't really remember anything, the last thing I remember was calling my doctor asking about some side effects to my treatment I was experiencing. Anything after that is pretty sketchy.

Finally they take the towel off and it helped a little. I go to wipe my eyes but find that I couldn't really move my arms either. Everything felt so heavy. So instead of trying so hard I sit there. I try to focus on what I knew, and that wasn't a lot.

After a while I feel someone touch my arm and I let out a groan. I hear someone gasp for it was the first sound I made since I woke up a while ago.

"Valerie, can you hear us" someone asks. I slowly but surly nod my head up and down. I try to say yes but all that comes out is a raspy noise.

Finally I get my eyes to open and adjust. At first all I see is a bright light before the colors start to show up. After I blink a few times I see a bunch of people surrounding me in a hospital room... of course it was a hospital room.

And the very first person I see was Artemi. He looked disheveled and I can tell that he had been crying. Well he still was. I wonder why was he crying?

He walks over to me and bends down by the bed. I feel him take my hand in his and he squeezes it so hard. I try my hardest to squeeze his back but it came out pretty small. I guess it's better than nothing huh? I feel a tear build up in my eyes as he looks at me. I couldn't say what I wanted to tell him even if I could talk. Let alone now when I can't.

"Val" he whispers and the tear falls. I wasn't sure how long I had been out but I assume it had been a while. I can see it in his eyes. He was in a lot of pain and it was because of me.

He wipes away my tear with his free hand before putting it on top of my hand. He squeezes it again and I squeeze it back, this time a little more forceful.

"Hi" I whisper with a soft voice and he gives me a dry laugh.

"I've missed looking into your eyes... so much" he admits. "I missed holding your hand and your hand holding me back. I missed you baby" he says as he softly cups my cheek.

I mouth a "I love you" and he smiles at me. He mouths "I love you too" and I feel my heart flutter. It's been a while that I've felt like this... felt anything really. He kisses the back of my hand and I try to smile back. I never really had to try with him but it was a bit harder now. When I can't give him my usual smile he assures me that he understands before he stands up. He moves so the doctors can do what they need to do but my eyes stay on him. He watches through the window as the doctors move me around and see what was going on.

Finally I just close my eyes and let it all sink in. Something terrible had happened to not only me by the people I care about. I wasn't sure what happened, I just know it's not good. When I open open my eyes again I see my doctor sitting next to me where Artemi was just a few short moments before.

"Hello Ms. Walker" he starts.

"Hey Doc" I smile and he laughs.

"I don't want you to strain yourself so I'm just going to explain this to you. I know you just woke up and all but it's better for you to hear this now than later. And I need to tell you quickly because there's a lot of people wanting to see you" he claims. "What made you fall ill was the treatment we were giving you to cure you, not from the disease itself. While it gave you antibodies to fight off infection, it also shut down your systems.

But on the other hand... you're cured" he smiles.

"Cured" I ask.

"Yes. If your body can keep this up then you will never have to worry about getting deathly ill again. But I'm not sure if we can continue with the treatment if it nearly kills you too" he says.

"I want to keep doing it" I insist and he sighs.

"I knew you would. But I don't know if I can if it nearly took away your life in the process" he claims.

"I'm not really living without it anyway. What's the difference" I ask.

"There are so many people who need you Valerie. My daughters look up to you. I can't continue doing this if it's going to hurt you" he says.

"Please" I beg. "I will stay here as long as it takes. I will do whatever. But I don't want to go back out there if I'm stuck inside again" I beg. I was so close to being better, I can't go back now.

"I'll see what I can do" he says and I let out a sigh. "Now I can't promise you anything" he insists.

"I understand" I say. "And doctor..." I trail off.

"Yeah" he answers.

"Thank you" I smile and he laughs.

"You're welcome Valerie."

He leaves me and as soon as he is out the door people flood into my room. There was balloons and flowers and stuffed animals galore. I see my whole family and Artemi come in, but in the back was a couple I've never seen before.

"Artemi, are those your grandparents" I ask and he smiles.

"They are. And they've been waiting not so patiently to meet you" he admits.

"Let's not keep them waiting" I insist.

He introduces me to his grandmother Nina and grandfather Vladimir and they give me their best wishes. They are the sweetest couple ever and their accents were so cute. Everyone kind of sits around and we talk for a while. Not about being in he hospital or why I'm here. But about life in general. What a beautiful life it is.