Untouchable

Chapter 36

The savage cries of Carrie woke Ruth once again. She stood up, dazed, half asleep, and walked into her tiny daughter’s bedroom, where she laid legs and airs flailing, screaming for attention and love. Ruth picked her up and soothed her, cuddling her close to her soft skin, Carrie’s head resting on the top of Ruth’s shoulder. After a month, she was used to this. Waking up 2, 3, 4 times a night, that had become normal. The morning was Noah’s first day back at work since Carrie had been born. He fell asleep as his wife sorted out their daughter. All of the other siblings were back at university and parents at work; Ruth only had her daughter for company now really, though Millie did visit sometimes after work, and Tom had come over one day after school to see the tiny bundle of joy.

                Ruth fed Carrie and the tiny girl drifted off to sleep in her mother’s arms. Ruth carefully placed her back in her cot before going back to her own bed, drifting off to sleep. She wasn’t woken again until Noah kissed her goodbye as he went off to work looking fairly exhausted. As Noah shut the door, Carrie began to scream. Ruth sighed; stood up; grabbed her dressing gown, tying it around her still slightly swollen stomach, she’d been told that would take a while to go down after being stretched for eight months by little Carrie. She picked Carrie up and changed her nappy, chucking the old one in the bin before promptly shutting the lid; it would make the room stink if she took any time to shut it. Carrie looked up from the changing table at her mother, huge blue eyes peering at the shape she knew to be her mother, her Mama.

                “You peering at me, Carrie?” Ruth asked, giggling as she snuggled her daughter tight. Carrie was moving her lips, trying to learn to talk, but her brain and tongue weren’t near enough in sync for Carrie to learn. Ruth took her to the bathroom and bathed her daughter cautiously as the health visitor had taught her, holding her head so she didn’t slip, trying not to get soapsuds in her eyes. Carrie seemed to love water, born for swimming. Ruth still worried about everything to do with her daughter, autism wise. She just hoped she’d be alright, be like Noah, rather than her.

                Carrie began to make silly noises, cooing and gurgling at Ruth. Ruth giggled and mimicked her daughters sounds. She dressed her, placed her in the baby chair that sat in the bathroom so Ruth could shower and dress without a need to worry too much. She placed Carrie in the booster seat, pram in the boot of Ruth’s small car, nappies in a bag, and she drove to the hospital for her check-up since Carrie was so premature, more than four weeks. Carrie was weighed, measured, and cooed over.

                “Do you know many others with kids that you can talk to?” The doctor, Dr Morganton, asked, handing Ruth a leaflet on a mother-and-baby weekly session.

                “None, well, there were a few in my year at school, but none since really.” Ruth said reluctantly. “I’m not good with people.”

                “I know, but you might find it better, and easier, with people in the same position as you: new parents.” Dr Morganton explained. Ruth nodded.

                “Where is it?”

                “There’s one in Bitton House, the Christian Fellowship,” she read out the list, with the various days and times. Ruth chose the closest one to hers, and was put on the list for the following week.

Ruth pushed the pram into the building, seeing a small trickle of mothers, along with the occasional father, pushing prams or carrying their youngsters into the ‘Mother and Baby’ group. Ruth walked in reluctantly, Carrie asleep, snoring softly like her father. Another terrified young mother walked in and smiled at Ruth.

                “Your first week?” She asked,

                “Yeah, is it yours too?” Ruth asked nervously.

                “No, my second. Everyone’s so lovely here. I’m Libby, this is Ash.” Libby smiled a charming, beautiful, kind smile, making Ruth feel genuinely appreciated.

                “I’m Ruth, this is Carrie.” They pair pushed their youngsters into the main hall, picked the babies up, and carried them into the room where toddlers were already running about madly. Libby and Ruth stuck tight together, neither knowing exactly where to go or what to do. Another mother, hand-in-hand with a snotty-nosed toddler and carrying a baby, about 6-months-old.

                “Hey, Libby, you’ve brought another along!” The woman beamed, adjusting the girl on her hip, nibbling on a Rusk.

                “Nope, we met in the doorway.” Libby corrected.

                “I’m Hazel, you must be Ruth?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Autism?”

                “I prefer not to be identified by a label. People judge too much that way.” Ruth spoke in an absolute monotone. Hazel and Libby nodded.

                “Who’s the beautiful you brought with you?” Hazel digressed.

                “This is Carrie.” Ruth smiled, looking down at her daughter who’d just chosen to wake up. The tiny girl gurgled and made strange sounds as she tried to learn to talk.

                “How old is she?”

                “5 weeks, best five weeks of my life.”

                “Don’t go telling some people here that; most hate the broken sleep.” Hazel laughed.

                “I don’t mind it; she wakes up every 2 to 3 hours; kind of used to it. When Noah’s at home he looks after her for a few hours while I sleep, though that’s only weekends for now.”

                “Is Noah Carrie’s father?”

                “Yeah.”

                “How long have you been together?” Libby asked. Hazel was dragged away by her toddler seeing something he wanted to play with. Libby and Ruth decided to find somewhere to sit.

                “We got married nearly a year ago. Carrie was a total honeymoon accident. We became a couple maybe a year before that.” Ruth admitted, giggling.

                “How long have you guys known one another?”

                “We met when we were three, so, um, 24 years.”

                “Wow. That’s a long time. I met my husband, Alfie, at university. He’s off adventuring everywhere and anywhere. He’s a geologist. What does Noah do?”

                “He’s a teacher at our old school. Not the most amazing thing, but it gets the bills paid.”

                “That’s quite adorable.”

                “Yeah.” Ruth smiled just as Carrie began to cry for food. Ruth used a blanket to cover Carrie while she fed, then burped her. Carrie looked at her mother with bright, sparkling eyes, full of life. The most beautiful eyes in the world.