Horses Are Coolio- My Horis and I (#Wattys2018)

Borsey The Horsey and Voldy

Boris' POV

It had been 3 hours since I got arrested, and there was still no sign of Becky. I was starting to get worried. She wouldn't abandon me, would she?

No. I shouldn't question her. Our love was too strong to ever be torn apart, no matter what obstacles we faced.

I turned to look at the strange, noseless man sitting next to me.

"I doubt your friend is going to come for you." Lord Voldemort said.

I glared at him and rested my head on my hooves.

"She's my wife, not my friend, and she'll be here soon. I know it."

Voldy shrugged and continued to fiddle with the weird looking stick in his hand.

"Why are you even here, anyway?" I asked him.

He let out an annoyed sigh, "well, supposedly, I disintegrated into ash when an arrogant little prick turned my own curse against me, and I was quite satisfied with my death. But then, Infinity War came along and stole my originality. I got involved in some of the local gangs. You know, like the One Directioners and the Beliebers. I almost joined the Bronies. Thank God I got out of that one. I just recently got caught. I actually have quite a few stories about the boy that killed me."

I rolled my eyes at him. I didn't want to know the story of his life. All I wanted was a distraction to waste time. Unfortunately, listening to him drone on about some kid, 'Hairy Pothead' or something, was worse than watching paint dry.

"Okay, please shut up," I commanded after a few more minutes of his incessant rambling.

Voldy raised an eyebrow, his hands raised in front of him in mid-gesture of his story.

"I was just getting to the best part." He complained.

"I don't care." It didn't matter to me that I was being salty. I missed my wife. Shouldn't she be worried sick by now? I neighed softly and closed my eyes.

"I just want to get back to my office and see Becky," I whispered to myself, thinking that no one could hear me.

"Your wish is my command!" I turned my head to the sound of the oddly familiar voice.

No one could grant wishes besides my fairy godmother, but it couldn't be her. I'd already run out of wishes to be fulfilled. When I looked up, I saw a face I never thought see on again.

"Stacy?!" There she was, riding a chicken with Zayn at her side. Someone should really tell her not to ride chickens anymore. I think she has a problem.

"What's up, Borsey the Horsey?" She exclaimed rather too happily.

I got up from the bench I was sitting on, rather awkwardly given my current horse form, and trotted over to the bars of the cell.

"It's Boris the Horis, and I don't have time for your chicken riding shenanigans, Stacy. What are you doing here?" She steered her chicken over to the other side of the bars, unlocking the door and letting both Voldy and me out.

Voldemort gasped and started squealing, jumping up and down in front of Zayn. "Oh em gee! You're Zayn! From One Direction!!!! Can you sing something?!" Zayn shrugged his shoulders and grinned.

"You don't know oh oh oh! You don't know you're beautiful!" And just like that, Voldy fainted on the spot at the sound of Zayn's angelic voice.

Stacy rolled her eyes, trying to get back to being the hero for once in her life. "What am I doing here? I'm breaking you out, duh." She giggled and grabbed Zayn by the shoulders, pulling him closer to her.

"Oh, and also to prove that I'm over you. I found love with Zayn. Much better love than you could ever give me." With that said, she began licking Zayn's face. He let her ruffle his luscious locks before licking her passionately.

I gave them a look of disgust and slowly backed away. They were such a weird couple. Without saying thank you or goodbye, I ran out of the station as fast as I could. I got to the White House sooner than I expected. I smiled and hoped that my suit wasn't too dirty. Hopefully, Becky hadn't had too bad of a time at the office without me.

—
StarrySilverSkies wrote this chapter and it's honestly amazing like really amazing. amazingly amazing.

it's 10x better than anything i can write, plus it's 10x longer lmao. it was a real pleasure working with you! i love all of this and your ideas are amazing! i'm also lowkey keeping voldemort as a semi main character.