Forbidden Love (ON HOLD)

~27~

Soraya's POV

Slowly and grudgingly, I blinked my eyes open. The sun shone brightly down at me, cause me to shut my eyes again, releasing a small hiss of discomfort.

I tried sitting up slowly, so that I was no longer staring directly at the sun, before opening my eyes once again.

I adjusted my visual focus and was left frowning at the scene before me. I was sitting on the greenest grass I ever saw, surrounded by some of the most beautiful flowers in the world.

Where the hell am I?

I slowly stood up, my mouth agape and my head spinning

I was in some kind of garden

I was snapped out of my reverie by a soft voice somewhere behind me

"Peaches"

I froze up.

That voice

That name

No. It couldn't be

"Turn around, dear" the same voice said again, so soft, so gentle

I turned around, slowly, to come face to face with. . .

"Mom?" I sputtered, in utter disbelief, confusion and a little bit of fear

I must be dreaming, yeah that's it, I'm in some crazy ass dream where my mother who died twelve years ago is standing right in front of me, calling me her special nickname

"Hello, love"

I just stared at her, unblinkingly

Mom?

No!

I had to remind myself this wasn't real, I couldn't get all emotional now

"Honey, it's rude to ignore an adult's greeting" she paused, giving me a teasing smile "I raised you better than that"

That was it for me

I felt the tears rush in cascades down my face, a hiccup blocking my airways in what felt like the start of a serious breakdown

I stood there, staring at my mother, billions of emotions cursing through my veins, crying my eyes out

She gestured me forward "come here, peaches"

The nickname made me sob even harder as I took a shaky step forward. Then she smiled at me and I was running towards her

I slammed against her with a force I thought was powerful enough to send us both tumbling to the ground, but apparently not since she was still standing quite sturdily, dainty arms wrapped securely around me

She laughed, the soft sound carrying lightly into the clear skies "I've missed you too, peaches"

She pulled slightly away from me, her soft hands holding my face as she smiled down at me

"Mom" my voice came out a broken whisper, scared that if I spoke too loud, I'd wake myself up from this dream "w-what's going on? How are you here?"

She let out a small sigh "walk with me?" She asked, gesturing to the vast garden before us and completely ignoring my question

I blinked once.

Twice.

"O-okay"

She looped her arm in mine and led me on a straight path toward a pretty stream "what's your favourite thing about your life right now?"

The question completely cut me off guard

"My favourite thing?"

She nodded, studying the small water body ahead of us "what's your reason to live, Raya? What's your drive right now?"

I instantly thought of Alex. How much he'd helped me over the past few months we've known each other. Every single thing we've been through together, our fights and arguments included.

Then I thought of Daphne. My best friend in all universes. My soul sister, my other half. She's always been there for me, chastising me when I was being ridiculous and pushing me forward when I coward back in fear.

I thought of father too. He was a great father to me, once upon a time. But then mom died, and he kind of fell apart. Burying himself in his work day and night, he barely had any time for me. That was his method, that's how he coped. I know he still loves me very much. Despite all, I know that I'm his reason to live.

And that's why I push forward everyday. That's why no matter what happens, no matter what I go through, I just shake my head and come back stronger. Because every single important person in my life has put so much into developing me into who I am today. So you see, I can't just give up

My friends, my family. They're my reason to live. They're my drive

"You know, when you left us, I didn't once contemplate giving up" I said instead of directly answering her question "sure, there were times when I didn't know the meaning of life anymore, but not once did I even think of ending it all. Even despite all the crap I went through with Matthew, I still kept going"

"Why?" She asked, her arm tightening around mine "it must've been so hard for you. Why did you keep going?"

I sucked in a deep breath "because I knew where I was going. I knew the people I had counting on me, I knew how important it was to those who really loved me that I made it through. And I wanted—want to make the world a better place" I shrugged "so I couldn't just give up"

She was silent for a while as we walked slowly and steadily toward the stream

I suddenly remembered what exactly happened.

Janice dying, me never getting to say my final good byes, me wanting to end my own life. . .

I felt a shiver run through me as I realised what was going on

I was unconscious. Probably in some sort of coma. And I wasn't going to make it. I was transitioning. If I crossed that stream with mother, I wouldn't wake up

"Would you give up now?" She suddenly asked, cutting my train of thought short

"Huh?" Was all I could conjure

"You know what's going on here, don't you? I'm giving you a choice"

I frowned, stopping our walk "a choice?"

She sighed, releasing my arm and taking a step back "yes dear, a choice. You can either say good bye to all your struggles and cross this stream into eternal peace and happiness–" I held my breath "–or you could wake up now and face the world. It's your choice"

I wasn't even going to think about it. There was no hesitation in my voice "I want to wake up. I want to face the  world, mom. I'm not running away from my problems," I paused to smile at her, "you raised me better than that"

She sniffed "good answer"

I raised an eyebrow at her "good answer?"

She nodded, smiling a watery smile at me "I'm proud of you, honey. Now, I'm not gonna take more of your time so come on over here, give your mother one last hug"

I shook my head, a huge grin on my lips and tears in my eyes. I hugged my mother for the last time, feeling the tears slip out quietly

"Never give up, peaches" she whispered into my ear "do not let anything get in the way of your happiness"

"Thanks, mom" I breathed, feeling more tears come "I love you"

She squeezed me tighter "I love you more. Always"

******