Forbidden Love (ON HOLD)

~12~

Listening to 'wiggle' by Jason Derulo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A strange feeling washed over me as she said those words

I have lung cancer and I only have a few months to live

They kept repeating themselves like a forbidden mantra in my head

I only have a few months to live

"What?" I asked my voice sounding surprisingly calm and collected.

Janice sighed "for the past ten years, I've been living with lung cancer. During my last check up, I was told by the doctors that I don't have much time left. They weren't sure when exactly my time would be up but they were most certain I wouldn't see March next year"

I shook my head "no. That can't be true" I turned to Kenzie with wide frantic eyes "Kenzie! Tell Janice she's being delirious!"

Kenzie laid a comforting hand on my shoulder "it's true Raya"

I looked between her and the person who is NOT going to die "you knew about this?" I asked Kenzie

She nodded, her eyes brimming with tears "two years. I've known for two years"

I shook my head again

No!

I can't lose another person to cancer! I can't do it! I won't!

"There has to be a cure. There has to be"

Janice smiled a sad smile "I'm way past the curing stage dear. There's nothing more for me"

I felt the bile rise up my throat

I stood up abruptly feeling outraged "so what, you're just gonna let yourself die?! You're just going to give up?!"

Kenzie stood up, the tears flowing freely on her face now "Soraya...."

"No MacKenzie, leave her" Janice cut her off

I pointed an accusing finger at her "so you want to die? That's what you want?!"

Janice took slow steady steps towards me "sweetheart" she started "I know it's a lot to take in but you have to understand that I want this. It's my decision and I've decided to let it drag me under. I've lived a very fulfilling life, done everything I've always wanted to do. Honey, I'm sixty eight. Sixty eight. When you're my age and you've seen all there is to see about life, the ups and downs, positives and negatives, when you're given an opportunity to just go without committing one of the biggest sins, sweetheart, you tend to jump on it. If I die right now, at least I'll die happy. So why don't we spend our last moments together enjoying each others love and company instead of crying, getting mad or sulking over reality. Honey, what's done is done. And this is definitely done"

By the time she was done, I was wiping furiously at my face, trying to find the stupid off switch to my tear glands.

I swear if one more person leaves me because of cancer, I will flip some serious motherfucking shit!