Forbidden Love (ON HOLD)

~25~

Hey guys! Now, before you read this chapter, I advice you to be on your bed, your room door closed, and a box of Kleenex beside you. . . no questions asked

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Alexander's POV

I sighed, my eyes falling shut as the pain in my chest increased

I loved her so much it actually hurt. . . physically

It was never this serious when I was in love with London. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I actually loved her. Sure, my heart raced every time I saw her, I'd smile at the mere thought of her, the hope I'd feel when she glanced at me but replaced with hurt and disappointment when she'd look away, not even saying a word to me.

At the time, I thought I was in love with her, I really did. But I wasn't. I guess during the period after my parents' death, I was a rollercoaster of emotions. I was sixteen around the time I first met London, and I was still under the wings of foster care. And during that period I actually considered myself bipolar. My emotions and feelings were always all over the place. I could be all happy and excited one minute and then the next I'd act like I was on my man period or something.

So I think I kind of blew my feelings for London out of proportion

But this thing, what I feel for Raya, I know it's real. With Raya, I actually feel like I couldn't possibly live without her

I sighed again, dragging a hand through my hair

Why did I have to leave her again?

Oh right. . . there was absolutely no way in hell that I was gonna let her 'have a go' at Matthew when the time came.

And as stupid as it sounds, there was absolutely no way I could convince her not to unless I broke her heart, in other words, leave her

It's stupid and it makes no sense, I know, but it's the only thing I could think of. Maybe later on I'd come up with a better, less painful plan, but for now, that was it

I began walking up the stairs again, my steps slow and heavy. When I finally reached the top, I looked up to see her standing by the door, her eyes downcast and her foot tapping impatiently on the ground.

She was waiting for me?

I walked up to her, plastering an apologetic smile on my face "sorry I took so long"

She looked up at me, her eyes softening when she found my face

She reached her hand up to touch my cheek "are you okay?"