Dying to Fall in Love (Jeff X Reader)

Blush

Weren't you supposed to protect her?

Some big sister you are, you only had one thing to do and you failed at that. Pathetic!

Failures like you don't deserve to be happy.

I bit my lip as the thoughts swirled around, twisting the end of my sleeves I tried my best to ignore the pounding in my head. I needed something to do, something to help her with and now. I stopped dead in the hallway and gasped, I got it! I turned the other way and bolted to Mr. Slenderman's office, this idea had to work! I burst open the door without knocking, and for sure I was gonna get yelled at that later. He whipped his head up and I saw the clear anger forehead creases.

"What is the mea-"

"Can I downgrade someone?!" I interrupted, getting yelled for that one too.

He was stunned for a slight moment and as the silence went on I found myself rambling.

"Well just- If I can give them upgrades can't I do the opposite? Hell, if what you say is true, that I can create you guys then..." The sketch of Zalgo flashed through my mind, "Then... I can kill too." I ended with a whisper. I was kind of shocked at myself for thinking such dark things but then again, I've thought worse about myself even. I bit my lip as I looked up at Mr. Slender and the mental note of the face thing only worsened. I need emotions dammit not just some blank canvas.

"Miss (Y/n) ... While yes, in a way, you are correct. But even I do not know how powerful your abilities are. I know you possess the power to create. Whether that be a new creepypasta or ability for an existing one. With that being said, I think it would be wise for you to avoid such things as downgrading and even killing, you haven't even perfected your creation one now! I know it would be beneficial, especially for cases like Zalgo and your sister but... physically and maybe mentally you cannot do it right now."

He was being way to gentle with me, but I understood why. Why couldn't he let me try? Does he not think I could do it, does he think I'm a failure too?

"I-I just wanted too..."

"Miss (Y/n), that's the end of this discussion. You may leave."

I was taken aback by the sharp tone and I tried my best to compose myself. I was right, he thought I was a failure too. Everyone does. I couldn't even protect my own sister, what makes you think I can do whatever the hell I'm here for. I left the office and felt my arms itch. And not the oh itchy itchy gotta scratch it either, the bad itch. The itch to do something bad. I took a shaky breath then I remembered Jeff throwing them down the toilet, dammit! I tried to think of some ideas and then one hit me. I went around the mansion in search of Sally. It took about thirty minutes to find her and she still looked sad as ever. She must have really liked Serena.

"Hey Sally." I called out to her gently, to which she turned to me.

"Do you have a pencil sharpener?"

"Why do you need that." It didn't feel like a question, more like a demand and ever since the sleeping spell I heard she was in a bitter mood.

"I need it for my pencils."

Her eyes widened and looked at me full of hope.

"For Serena?"

I swallowed.

"Yeah."

I'm a terrible person. I used my own sister as an excuse to get something close to a razor. I felt like shit and the itch on my wrist only grew with each passing thought.

How could you?'

She's your sister!

And the list goes on. It really was only a matter of moments until I was standing in the bathroom, the fresh blood dripping into the sink and slowly going down the drain. Along with all the bad thoughts, and the pressure. I took a deep breath and expertly cleaned up. Sadly, you learn a few things after doing it for so long. If I was honest, I was ashamed, ashamed I used my sister and ashamed at myself for doing it again. Didn't I promise not to? I don't remember. In the back of my mind I knew Jeff would notice, he even smelt it that one time. Oh no. The blood! That's what triggered him! Shit! I was scared because I knew I fucked up he would be back in that padded room because of me! I mean I was the first reason too but for me to do that to him twice... I felt sick all over again. The fresh tears rolled down my face and I furiously kept trying to wipe them away, with my vision blurry I tripped over a towel and I'm sure everyone heard the loud crash. The wave of pain I felt in my head grew in tenfold and the room was spinning. I barley registered the door flying open and a mop of blonde hair coming into view. Who...? My vision began to focus but I could feel myself slowly blacking out. It was BEN.

"Shit (Y/n)! What happened!"

I felt him shake me a bit to keep me conscious but at this point I was tired, just let me sleep. Like Serena, just let me be with her. My poor sister.

"C'mon now I'm not good with this...shit...Jeff!"

I whined, please anything but him! The calls of his name got quieter but I could tell by BEN's panicked state it really got louder. As if on cue the pale hand gripped the doorframe and came into view. His eyes darkened and shoved BEN right out of the way. Feeling defeated at the sight of him, I stopped fighting to keep my eyes opened and let them close.

-o-

I groaned as I sat up wherever the hell I was at. What happ- oh shit that's right. I rubbed my head and that's when I noticed I was back in Jeff's room but before I could process anymore the door slammed open. My face paled as I locked eye contact with a very very pissed off Jeff The Killer.

"You IDIOT!" He roared at me, stomping over to the bedside and harshly grabbing my wrist.

"First not only do you do this shit again, ya' hit your head on the bathtub and black out! Fuckin' irresponsible, immature, LOWDOWN- ah..."

He was right I was all of those, using my other hand I wiped at my face terribly and the hiccuping sobs were really pathetic. The yelling stopped and I heard a quiet sigh before I was pulled into a stiff chest.

"Tch. You're fuckin' hopeless go back to sleep." He murmured as he let go of my wrist and unconsciously I gripped onto his hoodie. I cried it out as one of his arms were around my waist, keeping me tightly secured against him and the other over his face so I wouldn't see his blush.