Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

cxxvi.

"I wanted to talk to you today," Jongup said, finally looking up at Tae. "Without everyone else."

"You mean without Jimin."

"Yes."

"Let me save you time on convincing me that you're a good friend for Jimin by just saying that-"

"Not Jimin. You." Jongup hesitated. "Well I mean, yes to Jimin, but you, too."

"We aren't friends."

"Yet."

Tae frowned. "Ever. And if it's all the same to you," he said, borrowing Jongup's earlier words with a slight sneer, "I'd prefer it if you stopped hanging out with Jimin."

"Jimin wouldn't like that. I wouldn't like that, either. But...if you really want me to do it...I'll do it on one condition."

Tae leaned forward. "What's that?"

"That you become my friend instead."

Tae leaned back, scowling. "No way. Didn't you hear me when I said we're not friends?"

"Yet."

"And besides, do you know how bad that would make me look to Jimin? How bad it would make you look?"

Jongup sighed. "Well, I want to be friends with you, and I don't know how to make it happen. And if it's all the same to you, forget about Jimin for a hot second. This isn't about him. It's about you."

"Well, we're related," Tae said, taking a moment to focus on purposely not smiling at his own wittiness.

"Why can't we be friends?" Jongup asked outright, and Tae hesitated, caught off guard, before swallowing.

"Because you bullied Jimin."

"In pre-school."

"You made him cry. Every day."

Jongup nodded, accepting responsibility solemnly. "I know. I'm really sorry about that. But as sorry as I am about that, it has nothing to do with you. I already apologized to Jimin. A while ago. He forgave me for that. And I haven't made him cry a single day since. But that's all about Jimin. I'm asking about you. Why can't you and I be friends?"

"Because you hurt Jimin's feelings and Jimin is my brother," Tae repeated, crossing his arms.

"And now I'm Jimin's friend and Jimin is your brother, so why can't we be friends?"

Tae paused, trying to find a valid excuse. "I-" He furrowed his brows, scowling at Jongup from across the table. "Why the hell do you even want to be friends with me?"

"Because Jungkook asked me to," Jongup said, mainly as a joke, but before Taehyung could leave, he said, "Because you stood up for me that one day. You didn't have to. I'd originally thought that you were doing it despite my past actions, but it turned out you didn't recognize me at all. I was a stranger, and you helped me. You're nice, even if you try to convince everyone else you're mean and tough and scary. I know what mean looks like. I learned enough about that from Hyukk and his friends."

"You mean Hyukk, your friend," Tae cut in, trying to ignore what Jongup had said about him.

"No," Jongup said, shaking his head. "Not my friend. I stopped being friends with him when I grew some common sense and realized that being his friend was hurting me, and that being friends with him led me to hurt other people. I won't lie; it wasn't easy cutting ties with him. It's a lot easier to get by when nobody wants to mess with you because you're at the top of the food chain. But just because you aren't being hurt physically doesn't mean you're not accumulating emotional scars. Eventually, I hit a point where my guilt outweighed my fear, and I quit."

"That doesn't erase what you did," Tae shot back, but Jongup just nodded, resting his elbows on the table.

"I know. I'm well aware. I apologized to everyone I hurt. Some people forgave me. Some didn't. Even so, it doesn't make it all okay. I know that. It doesn't mean that I don't regret what I did. But forgiveness is a double-edged blessing, so to speak. It heals the victim as well as the culprit. Forgiving someone frees the part of your soul that's hanging on to malice, and being forgiven releases the part of your soul that's overwhelmed by guilt." Jongup hesitated. "Can you forgive me, Taehyung? Not just for me, but for you, too?"

Tae clenched his jaw. "No."

"Can we still be friends?"

"No."

"All right," Jongup said, nodding slowly before getting up. "I know it won't change anything, but I'm sorry. And those aren't empty words."

Tae wrestled to say something back to Jongup, to tell him to stay out of the Kim family's lives for good, but the words that broke free and swam to the surface instead were, "What exactly does being friends with you entail?"

Jongup fought back a small smile. "Whatever you want it to entail. You can tell me everything or tell me nothing. You can spend time with me or ignore me completely. However I can be there for you, in whatever way you need to me to be."

"Maybe..." Tae looked away, his arms still crossed, so he didn't have to see Jongup's face. Even with all of Jongup's words, he still didn't like Jongup's face. Just out of habit, really. It wasn't a bad face at all. "Maybe we can try. The friends thing. For a little while, at least."

Jongup smiled softly even though it appeared as though Tae weren't even looking at him, although Tae was watching him in his peripherals. "I'd like that. Thank you, Taehyung."

"I still haven't forgiven you," Tae reminded Jongup, looking back at him with a frown.

"I know," Jongup said simply. "When you're ready to free that part of your soul, then go ahead. But don't do it a moment before you're ready to mean it, and don't do it because you think I want your forgiveness. I do, but that's not the point. It's your decision. I won't try to influence it."

"Good," Tae said harshly before biting the inside of his cheek, frustrated at himself by how he was reacting to Jongup. "Don't worry about me doing it too soon because I don't plan on forgiving you."

"Okay."

"I mean it!"

"All right."

"For real!" Tae said, exasperated and mad that Jongup seemed to read through him so easily.

Jongup just smiled and went back to his normal lunch table with Jimin and Hyungwon, who smiled at Jongup and resumed their conversation.

Tae didn't know what to think.

i don't think i say this often enough so thanks for reading :)