Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

xcii.

Jungkook felt torn. Now that he and Tae were on better terms, they'd actually been sticking together in school more, but now that Jungkook felt free of the weight he'd been carrying around with him for years, he wanted to break out of his shell a little bit. Meet other people. Be more social.

It was odd because, of the two of them, Tae was the more social one at home, but as soon as they got to school, he shut himself off. He didn't seem interested in making friends or talking to other people. He talked to Jungkook, and that was about it.

He'd used to spend all of his focus on studying, but Jungkook had noticed that he didn't have the same sense of concentration anymore. Tae spent more time gazing out the window than gazing at the whiteboard. The teachers had threatened to punish him more than once, but they couldn't rightly punish the boy who had been one of their best students. They'd even gone so far as to call Jungkook in to ask about Tae's behavior change.

"Our brother came home," Jungkook had said.

"Well, isn't that a good thing?" they'd replied.

And it was. Of course it was. But it meant that there was no longer a great mystery to be solved, a grandiose riddle to be unraveled.

It meant that life was back to normal.

That Tae was back to normal.

That he was being thrust back into the mundane life that everybody else had been basking in for the past five years, a world without unoccupied beds and unfilled shoes and empty plates at the dinner table.

And somehow, as they had all settled back into normal, the world had become a few shades dimmer.

In fact, reality seemed less real, somehow.

It was like they'd been driving on the highway, foot on the gas pedal, going steady at 75 miles per hour, and when Jimin had been returned to them, they'd pulled off on an exit, and the speed limit had suddenly changed to 20 miles per hour. Suddenly, it felt as though they barely had to press the pedal at all. They had been so used to life on the highway that life off of the highway seemed unbearably slow.

Velocitation. That was the fancy word for it. But nothing seemed fancy to Jungkook as he watched Tae slowly lose interest in the everyday.

He didn't know where he was supposed to fit into that. Was he supposed to start telling Tae to be more serious about school? Coming from Jungkook, that would be a joke, and not a very good one at that.

But was it his job to stay by Tae's side? Did he have to be - Jungkook hesitated to voice the horrible thought - dragged down with Tae? What if he wanted to reach out?

What if Jungkook liked boring?

What if he liked everyday?

What if he liked normal?

Was that so wrong?

***

The bell rang, and everybody got up to go to lunch. Tae was still putting his things away when Jungkook stood up, sliding his bag over his shoulder.

He noticed a few of his classmates joking with each other, getting ready to leave.

He could imagine himself with them, part of their circle, laughing at someone's joke and having someone pat his back. He would like that, he thought. He would like being part of something, something that he wasn't born into. Something that he'd worked his way into, something that he'd made come true.

Jungkook stared at the boys. They were taking their time, grabbing their lunches from their desks. They didn't have to rush. What would be the point in rushing when they were enjoying themselves just by being together?

Jungkook opened his mouth.

Can I join you? he would ask.

And they would look over, surprised, and say, Hey, you're Jungkook, right?

And Jungkook would smile and nod, pleased that they'd remembered his name although they'd hardly ever talked. That's me. Is it okay if I eat lunch with you guys? I don't have anyone else to sit with.

And they'd grin and say, Sure! We'd love the company.

And then one of them would wink at Jungkook and ask, Do you have any cute sisters that you can introduce me to?

And Jungkook would laugh, walking over to them, and say, No, but I have five brothers. Take your pick!

And then they'd all laugh and file out the door toward the cafeteria, where they'd sit down at a table and introduce Jungkook to their other friends, and they'd all say, You're so funny, Jungkook! Why haven't we ever talked before?

And Jungkook would say-

"Jungkook?"

Jungkook looked over at Tae.

"Ready to go?" Tae asked, and Jungkook hesitated.

He could go eat with Tae. Tae, who had nobody else to eat with, who would most certainly eat alone if Jungkook didn't join him. Tae, who wasn't interested in meeting others but who would surely get lonely. Tae, his brother, his triplet, someone who was genetically his equal.

Or he could eat with them. He could laugh, he could make friends, he could slowly embrace this new feeling of normal, embrace it and absorb it into the marrow of his bones. He could start small with lunch today, and slowly become more confident, and maybe even try out for a sports team and make friends there too, and then Namjoon and the others would come to his games and watch him play. Tae, Tae would come to his games-

-and sit all alone on the bleachers, abandoned by his brother but still supportive of him.

"Yeah," Jungkook said, turning to look at Tae head on so he didn't have to watch the others, his would-be friends, file out the door, slapping the top of the door frame simply out of boyish fun.

Why haven't we ever talked before? Jungkook imagined them saying as he followed Tae out of the classroom.

Because there was someone else who needed me more, even if he didn't realize it.

He'd make friends one day. He would. But he would wait until Tae was ready, until Tae had someone to replace him. Maybe it would even be Jimin. But whoever it was, Jungkook wouldn't leave Tae to survive by himself until that person appeared.

just as a side note, as an unfortunate consequence of this story's success, my notifications are now permanently being spammed, so if you need to contact me, please direct message me. otherwise, i won't see it (plus, i don't have time to personally reply to comments anymore)

so yeah. thanks for supporting this story, and sorry that your support is overwhelming my ability to connect with you all