Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

EXTRA: TAEHYUNG

Step 1: Cut off all the big toes on Jungkook's socks so when he goes to put his feet in, his big toe is stuck alone outside in the cold.

Hypothesis: Jungkook will be pissed off.

Step 2: Bend one of the wires in Jungkook's spiral notebook out of alignment so every time he tries to flip to a page, he gets stuck.

Addendum: For the greatest effect, choose the wire third from the bottom.

Step 3: Re-lace Jungkook's shoes so that one is strung tighter than the other.

Question: Will this make Jungkook think his feet are different sizes?

Addendum: Observe and record results for later testing.

Step 4: Sew the pockets on Jungkook's jeans shut.

Addendum: If he asks, convince him that they were always fake pockets.

Step 5: Slip several gift cards into Jungkook's wallet. Make sure to write amounts on the cards, but do not put any money on them.

Addendum: Make sure to accompany Jungkook on his shopping trip to watch him go to the check-out with a bunch of items only to find out the card has no money on it.

Addendum: If he asks where the cards came from, say it must have been from his birthday or something.

Step 6: Watch the forecasts, and when rain is predicted, give Jungkook an umbrella before school. Make sure to cut holes in the material before handing it over.

Hypothesis: Jungkook will get wet.

Step 7: Buy several of the same t-shirt for Jungkook, giving him the smallest one first. Then, over time, swap out the previous t-shirt with the same shirt but one size larger to convince Jungkook that he is shrinking.

Addendum: Repeat with other clothing items?

Step 8: Wake up earlier than Jungkook and, when he wakes up, only speak to him in a different language (not Korean or English). If he replies in Korean, act confused but do not reply in Korean. Convince him to go back to bed, and when he wakes up, tell him that everyone was very worried for his health since he had been in a coma for 2 years while the family had moved to a different country and had been talking to him in their new language.

Addendum: Probably have to get Namjoon or Lisa in on it too...

Step 9: Replace Jungkook's favorite cereal with bunny food. (Must put the bunny food in the original cereal box.)

Hypothesis: Jungkook will sprout ears.

Addendum: Illuminati confirmed.

Step 10: Every time Jungkook calls "Tae" or "Taehyung" (or any variant of said name), frown and remind him (with annoyance) that your name is Jimin and you'd appreciate it if he'd stop calling you by the wrong brother's name.

Addendum: Get Jimin in on it so when Jungkook calls/texts him, Jimin reminds Jungkook that he is Taehyung.

Step 11: Replace Jungkook's shaving cream with butter so when he goes to shave, the razor just slips right off.

Addendum: Keep band aids close. Just in case.

Step 12: Have Jungkook sit down and say that you're sorry to have to be the one to tell him, but that Namjoon has to sell one of his children to make end's meet, and he chose Jungkook to sell into slavery since he's the best suited for physical labor and will earn Namjoon more money.

Addendum: Do not tell Namjoon. He might get angry.

Step 13: Print out a fake $20 bill and put it in Jungkook's coat pocket so he'll get excited when he finds it. Make sure to write "NOPE" on the opposite side.

Hypothesis: Jungkook will get his hopes up and end up being disappointed after not receiving something he never even thought he had in the first place.

Step 14: Replace all copies of the family photograph with a version where Jungkook has been whited out. When he sees it and asks where he is, pretend that there's nothing wrong.

Addendum: Repeat with mirror? Pretend Jungkook has no reflection? Consider for future observation.

Step 15: Write Jungkook's name on his homework.

Addendum: I was going to plan to write his name on my homework and swap them out, but then I remembered that his is worse than mine anyway.

Step 16: Take one of each pair of Jungkook's shoes and hide them so he has no matching pairs.

Addendum: Repeat with socks?

Step 17: Create a robot doppelganger of Jungkook and ensure that the robot is more popular than Jungkook is.

Reasons Why Robot Jungkook Would Be More Popular Than Real Jungkook:

1. It's a robot

2. It's Jungkook 2.0

3. I created the robot

[Reasons 4-6 deleted from records]

Step 18: to be determined...

thanks for 100K votes and 3rd in fan fiction :)