Single Father • Namjoon + BTS!Kids

cxxvi.

"It was bullying, Jungkook."

"You were four years old, Jongup."

Jongup frowned. "Yeah, maybe. But I feel like after Jimin went missing, I grew up a lot faster, if you know what I mean." He exhaled slowly. "But I still feel like shit about all of that. Even if it doesn't matter that much. Because I was always stuck wondering, Is it my fault somehow? What happened to Jimin? Like what if I'd played with him instead of trying to ruin whatever he was building?"

Jungkook sighed. "You don't think I know what it feels like to play the guilty hypothesis game, Jongup? I was there, too. I could have done something. Should have. I didn't. I feel like shit about it too. But you know what? Jimin forgave me. He doesn't hold it against me. And he's friends with you now so obviously he doesn't hold it against you, either."

Jongup opened his mouth to say something before looking away, a hand on the back of his neck.

"What?" Jungkook asked, tilting his head. "What were you going to say?"

Jongup blew out a breath before looking back at Jungkook. "This is going to make me sound like an even shittier person, if possible. So I'm sorry, in advance. But...to be honest..." He winced as though knowing how poorly his next words were going to come out. "I really only became friends with Jimin in order to try to get closer with Taehyung and try befriending him. At least, at first, I mean. He punched me that day in the arcade, and it kind of shocked me. This is going to sound petty, but...I don't like living with myself knowing that there's someone out there who hates me. I wanted to fix that, somehow. I thought maybe, if I became friends with Jimin, he'd see that I've changed, and maybe he'd give me another chance and forgive me, too, but...He hasn't. He won't. He doesn't even like me hanging out with Jimin. He thinks I'm going to bully Jimin.

"I won't," Jongup immediately added, holding up his hands defensively even though Jungkook hadn't reacted. "I'm not a bully. Not anymore. Hyuuk never really changed, and it got bad enough that I couldn't tell if I was his friend of another one of the kids he bullied. He was constantly ridiculing me, taunting me, all of that. So I got away from him. Which means that I get pushed around a bit by some of his new mean friends, but I'd rather take a few hits than hurt someone else. I just want Taehyung to see that."

Jungkook nodded slowly before speaking. "And he will. If - when - you become his friend."

Jongup looked down, rubbing the back of his neck again. "I don't know. He sort of hates me. And I don't want Jimin to think that I was just using him. I mean, maybe it started out sort of like that, but we're friends now for real, and I don't want to ruin that."

Jungkook nodded but was still fixated on making Jongup Tae's friend. "Please, just talk to him? I'm worried about him, and there aren't that many people who can see through Tae's outside appearance to how kind he is underneath all the fronts he puts up."

Jongup thought over Jungkook's words for a long moment before sighing and tilting his head first one way and then the other. "All right. But if he punches me again, you're buying me something from the cafeteria."

***

"Hey there," Jongup said, sitting down at the lunch table without looking up to meet Tae's eyes.

Tae stared at him. "Go away?" he said, but it came out sounding more like a question, mainly because he had a hard time actually being mean, but he still didn't like Jongup.

"I'd rather not if it's all the same to you," Jongup said nonchalantly, taking out a sandwich.

"Well, it's not all the same to me, and I'd rather you left. Besides, don't you and Hyungwon and Jimin all eat together?"