Through It All
Part 5
*Justin's POV*
Knock knock
Somehow I muttered up the courage and will power to open the door.
I opened up the door to see the one person who just shattered my world. I burst into tears right then and there as she rush in taking me into her arms crying along with me.
"It's going to be okay," she cried holding onto me for dear life like I was with her. "It has to be okay."
"I miss her so much," I cried breaking down for the millionth time over the last two days.
Once I had finally gained enough strength, I leaned back to get a good look at Jennifer, Aubrey's little sister. "What are you doing here?"
"How could I stay away when I heard the news? I knew you would need me. I'm sure you need help with the kids. How did they take the news?" She asked lugging in her bags that sat on the front porch.
I grabbed a bag helping her drag it in. "I haven't told them yet. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I know I need to but I can't break them. They are too little. I just can't," I said feeling the tears building up quickly, only to have me wipe them away with the back of my hand.
"Let's do it now. Together. Together we can all get through this. This is the time we need each other the most," she said hugging me.
"What about college?" I asked.
"I'm going to transfer to a local one around here. I couldn't be that far away when I know you guys need me now more than ever."
"Thank you Jen," I smiled at her. "The kids are in the playroom."
I helped carry her bags up the stairs and dropped them off before finding the children playing. Skylar was finger painting on her easel while Kade was playing with his leap pad. For a split second Sky looked up and saw her beloved aunt and lost it.
"AUNT JEN!" She yelled running and jumping into her causing Kayden's head to snap up and run over to her as well.
"Let's go down stairs guys. Your dad and I need to talk to you," Jen laughed.
Seeing the kids so happy and carefree made me smile for the first time in what felt like forever. But I knew it was only going to be short lived because I would soon have to crush their little spirits.
"Is this about mommy not coming home?" Little Skylar asked so innocently only causing tears to trickle down my face yet again.
"Sort of," Jen said. "Come here." Skylar climbed her way onto my lap while Kade got on Jennifer's.
"No cry daddy," Skylar said reaching her tiny hand up to wipe a tear off my face.
"Daddy's so sorry," I said closing my eyes tightly.
"Skylar, Kayden, there isn't an easy way to say this," Jennifer said thinking of a simple way to say it. "You guys remember Marley and Me?"
"I don't like that movie," Kay stated. "The doggie died." This made me cry harder.
"Do you know where he went?" She asked.
"Mommy said he went to heaven."
"Well, mommy's in heaven now too," Jen said with a fake smile on her lips and a tear perched in her eyes.
Skylar tilted her head confused. "No mommy home soon. She tell me."
"Baby, she's not coming home," I whispered.
"Momma's dead?" Kayden asked, his eyes filling with tears just like Jen and I.
"I'm sorry Kayden. There was nothing daddy could do. Trust me if there was I would do it but I can't," I said.
Kayden got off Jennifer's lap and run up stairs. I moved to go chase after him but Jen put a hand on my arm. "Let him grief."
"What does dead mean?" Skylar asked.
Jennifer began to talk but I stopped her feeling like I had to answer this one. "It means that you have to leave earth and go to heaven to be with God, but it's okay because mommy's watching over us and God's going to take care of mommy."
"Mommy happy in heaven?" She asked.
"Mommy sad we aren't with with her but she's happy. We will be with her soon enough and she will be waiting for us until then," I said brushing her hair back with my hand.
"Okay daddy," she said.
"I love you Skyar."
"I love you daddy," she said puckering up and giving me a kiss.
"Go play love," I said helping her off my lap before turning to Jen.
"You're great with the kids," I noted.
"Thanks," she smiled. "How are you holding up?"
"It kills me. I feel like I'm crying all the time but I don't even care because I just lost my wife," I said with a pathetic sad laugh as more tears came down.
"Have you thought about therapy?"
"I'm not going to therapy," I stated.
"It may help, Justin. And right now isn't almost anything worth it?" She asked and I couldn't deny that.
I can guarantee you I will never get over my wife but maybe therapy would help numb the pain a little. It was worth a shot.
"I'll call and make you an appointment," she said. "Maybe both of us can go. It will help all of us."
