You're My Only Direction

Chapter Twenty

Sorry about the short chapter...

             Harry’s POV

            I sighed as I stood outside of the hotel room, I knew Louis was on the other side of the door and I really didn’t want to do what I was about to do. I stood there biting my lip with my hand placed on the door. Minutes passed and they felt like hours as I just stood there willing myself to open the door. Finally after what felt like at least four hours, I slowly pushed the door open, but only slightly.

            I peered in the partially open door and watched Louis as his chest rose and fell gently. I thought hopefully that he was sleeping but when I looked as his eyes they were wide open. I sighed and shoved the door completely open. Louis’ eyes darted over to me and a wide smile crossed his face. All I could manage was a grimace in return.

            He furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity. I struggled to change my grimace to a smile but I just couldn’t force the muscles to move.

            “What’s up, Curly?” Louis asked, pretending to sound playful, but I could tell he was nervous about what I had to say.

            “I have to tell you something,” I replied, my voice coming out as a flat, monotone sound.

            “What is it?” Louis asked as he scratched his neck nervously.

            “I-I…” I stuttered nervously. You have to do this, Harry, don’t wimp out. I drew my head up and stood to my full height, I hadn’t even noticed that I had been slouching so much before. “I can’t be in a relationship with you anymore, Louis. We aren’t compatible, and you deserve someone…better than me. Someone who has more time for you and can take care of you in a way that I will never be able to.”

            “Harry, what are you saying?! I don’t want anyone ‘better than you’, I don’t want anyone except you. I love you, and I would never think that I could do better. You’re the best that it gets!” Louis replied frantically as he leapt from the bed.

            “No, you could do so much better,” I said, slowly shaking my head.

            “No Harry, you don’t understand! You’re perfect, and you’re all that I want and all that I need,” Louis insisted as he clutched my hands in his own.

            “No Louis, you don’t understand. If you can’t understand that you can do better then maybe you’ll understand this: I don’t want to be with you anymore,” I said emotionlessly.

            “You can’t mean that, Hazza,” he begged as he squeezed my hands with all his strength.

            “Don’t call me that, I’m not a little kid,” I spat as I tore my hands from his grasp. “And I don’t say things that I don’t mean. I don’t need you nor do I want you. You were just…convenient…”

            “Don’t say that; don’t say that, you don’t mean that,” he muttered, shaking his head frantically as tears poured from his eyes. “It’s just that…that voice talking!”

            “That voice is my voice, my mind, my thoughts, I think it’s pretty trustworthy,” I replied stonily.

            “No it’s not! It’s that thing…that monster in your head, it’s changing you, it’s manipulating you! Why can’t you see that!?” Louis shrieked desperately.

            “There’s nothing to see, I’m just being who I am. There’s no monster in my mind, there’s only me, and if you think that I’m a monster then that just proves that we shouldn’t be together,” I shrugged.