Run With Me Again

Chapter 15

 As soon as Maddy dropped me off to my flat, I had to go visit my mom for some wedding planning stuff. After that I would finally have the chance to go take a quick run and have my own secret moment. I tied my long dirty blonde hair back and changed into my running clothes. I took my keys and began to drive over to my mom's house.

"Mom! I'm here!" I said and jingled my keys as I saw her in the dining room. She was comparing colors and all sorts of stuff. The table was cluttered and full of little toys.

"A little late, but that's okay darling." my mom said as she looked at The Heart of the Ocean versus Black Tulip. Her glasses were at the tip of her nose and she kind of reminded me of Martha Stewart.

"So, what are we deciding on today?" I asked and pulled out a chair next to her. I glanced at the list that we were supposed to do today. The wedding was a three months away, but my mom was really excited and wanted to start planning. 

"You have to pick one of these as a wedding favor." My mom said and gestured her hand over to the row of wedding favors. She went back to the colors as I looked through them.

The first thing that caught my eye was the Mason Jar that had strawberry shortcake in it with a spoon tied to the side with a cord. The lid had something printed on it and said "enjoy", with a smiley face and the date of our wedding. I reached for it and thought it was really cute for a wedding favor.

"This one, this is too cute." I said and showed my mom. She smiled and then looked at the other ones.

"Why not this one sweety? This is pretty cute too." Mom said and reached for a pair of test tubes that had two different types of tea leaves in them. I looked at it and read the label. It had one of Mike's favorite tea, and one of mine.

"I really like the Mason Jar with short cake in it. I love short cake!" I said and looked at the Mason Jar again.

"Okay, we'll choose that. Next is the invitations." she said and pushed it to the side. She pulled some invitations in and we went through them.

The next couple of hours we went through the list and we back and forth on our decisions. She wanted this color, I wanted that. She preffered the simple invitation, I liked the complicated one. Then, there were decisions we just didn't know what to do at all. When we finally finished I left and went to the pathway.

It's all different now. The trees to the side that were once there, were chopped off. That meant the shade it used to provide was no longer there. When you ran, you couldn't listened to the songs the birds were singing to. To the side were fences of the new ranch owners and it was different. The only thing that kept me running was the same trail. The same dirt that I ran on. The same shape and path.

I only kept the pathway to myself. Nobody knew about it. It was my escape. My own world. Not even Mikey or Maddy knew about it. Just me. 

If you're gonna push me

promise you'll break my fall

hold me close as I

breathe in, breathe out

breathe in, breath out,

I'm on the edge

Just take me now

And if you're gonna push me

then promise you'll break my fall

This song means a lot to me. Not only does it help calm me down while I run, it's like my life story. The whole thing about Liam. Pretty much, before he became famous, we used to have this morning routine of running. It was all the same, but everyday it was different. You know? Do I still have feelings for Liam?

I don't know.

 That's the problem. Sometimes I even think the only reason I'm even marrying Mikey in the first place was to proove to myself that I could get over him easily. I question myself, and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Am I making the right decision.

There it leads to another problem I'm going through. I want kids, but Mikey doesn't even want one. It was my life dream, and I've always wanted to be a mom. Now, I don't even know if I can be one. 

I know this pathway back and forth. I could run through it while I was sleeping in the rain. I decided to let the song calm me and I closed my eyes to run. It's been years of running through this path. I know it too well.

PHWAM.

My face smashed into a sweaty t-shirt back. I wiped my face off and made a nasty face at the disgusting shirt. I looked up to see the brunette boy I use to run with in the mornings.

"Ade?" he said.

Why is he appearing in my life all of a sudden?

"Hi Liam...'" I mumbled and stared at the ground.