Home is You ('Home Is' Book One - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 50 - I Only Wanna Be With You (Dusty Springfield)

I trust Rick, respect him. The Old Man and me see eye to eye. Though sometimes he sees too much I reckon.

Far too much. Especially when it comes to her.

And Carol? Well she knows me cos we've both been through it. She's become my friend....they all have.

Never, ever  thought I'd have friends like this. Folk who actually need me. Me needin them too?

Carol!

She, Nate I mean....said Carol will shank her. What in the fuck?

Does she somehow believe that Carol and me....?

C'mon, Dixon? Yer ain't some silly teenager. As if it matters what she's thinkin or believin. Yer just don't get it do yer?

It ain't gonna happen, so stop all this imagining. It can't happen!

That voice of Merle's is hell right. She'll only look twice at me....to make sure she's aiming her damn gun proper at my head. Ain't got herself no interest in jumpin my  bones, that's for sure.

Try giving myself a right proper talkin to.

Yer have a job to do now. Can't get side-tracked by these stupid feelins. Ones that yer don't have a hope in hell of understanding.

Yer gotta back up Rick in protecting the family. Keep the walkers away and help everyone stay alive.

Stop dreamin like yer some kind of damned Romeo for fucks sake! This ain't no fairytale with a happy ending.

But I can't stop  thinkin about it....her.

I went back in time again. Chew over everything that's happened. Her joining up and showin us this place. Helping everyone out without even being asked.

Nate can sure look after herself alright. Sleeping in a hammock up a tree? That idea just blows me away. Talk about lateral thinkin, huh?

And the canvas protection? Sheeeeit!

Has also had herself some damned fine training too. Doing the stuff she does, especially shootin. Thinks smart and quick too.

I sure like that.

Knows when to shut it and listen. Well....most of the time. Though a lot of that's my fault. Give her heaps of shit deliberate-like. Cos I more than enjoy it when she bites back.

And boy Oh boy, she sure does alright. Since she came along? Ain't smiled or laughed so much on the inside in all my life  🤣

Feels so damn good, I can tell yers.

Nate knows how to survive and will keep on doin it I reckon. Just needs to learn how to toughen up when it comes to losin folk. Gonna be a fact of our lives from now on.

Nobody lives forever.

She's still hurting real bad though  😔

I can see it in her plain as day, even when she's doin her best to hide it. Get glimpses when she thinks no one's lookin. And her voice....it changes ever so slight whenever she says that Guillermo's name.

Did they have something going on? Did she love him? Does she still?

But tonight? Hell, I just don't get it at all.

Helped us get in here....her and Maggie showed us guys up alright. Tough as nails, workin together and takin down all them walkers with Nate's gear. Made it look so easy.