Ashes to Ashes (BDTW #3)

Chapter 15

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Once I regained consciousness, I realized I was in a different laboratory, not my execution room. The straps that held me down before were gone. I stretched out my muscles, stiff from being prostrate for so long, and for not being able to release the lactic acid that must've collected in my muscles while I was under the fear serum. Jeanine and her army of Erudite scientists and Dauntless traitors entered the room moments after I opened my eyes. 

"Let us view these results, shall we?" she announced. One of the scientists, who seemed vaguely familiar, walked up to the front of the room and turned the screens on. Words and numbers that didn't make any sense to me filled them. 

"We discovered something extremely interesting about your mirror neurons we'd discussed before, Ms. Eaton." I'd never seen her in such a good mood. This must've meant bad news for me. "Would someone like to explain to Ms. Eaton what mirror neurons do?"

"I have ears, you know," I countered, propping myself up into a seated position. Everything seemed off for a second, like I was about to faint, probably from dehydration or lack of food. My stomach grumbled, but I ignored it. "Mirror neurons fire both when one performs an action and when one sees another person performing that action. They allow us to imitate behavior."

"Somebody get her some food. But yes, Catherine, you're right, yet what else are they responsible?" she scanned her 'class' the same way my teachers used to do. Another Erudite raised his hand. 

"Learning language, understanding other people's intentions based on their behavior, um..." he frowned. "And empathy."

"More specifically," Jeanine said, and this time, her smile was broad, and I could notice crinkles in her cheeks, "someone with many strong mirror neurons could have a flexible personality, capable of mimicking others as the situation calls for it rather than remaining constant."

I finally understood why she smiled. I felt like my mind had been cut open for them, available for them all to pick it apart, its secrets spilling all over the floor. Then I thought of the dark sludge and a shiver ran through me. 

"A flexible personality," she said, "would probably have aptitude for more than one faction, don't you agree Ms. Eaton?"

"Probably," I agreed. "Now if only you could get a simulation to suppress that particular ability, we could be done with this."

"One thing at a time," she paused. "I must admit, it confuses me that you are so eager for your own execution."

I stared at her, and thought of everything she'd known I'd been through: Marcus's beatings. The betrayal and murder of my first love at my hands. The murders of countless of my friends. Everything Eric had done. 

"No, it doesn't." I closed my eyes. "If you've seen my mind, Jeanine, it wouldn't confuse you at all." I sighed. "Can I go back to my cell now?"

I must've seemed unbothered, but I was. I wanted to go back to my room so I could be depressed in peace. She must've known that. 

But she paused once more, and waved the others away. They scrambled, and I wondered what she needed to say to me that couldn't be said to her front line of lackeys, but I didn't care. 

"You know," she said quietly, "It really is a shame, Catherine. I think you would've belonged in Erudite if you gave it a chance. You and I would've worked well together."

I stared back at her, incredulous, then scoffed in her face, pushing off the table to stand, heading closer to the door where Eric stood. "No," I said. "I don't think so at all."