Ashes to Ashes (BDTW #3)

Chapter 6

Okay, let's get this straight:

I worked on this for fifteen days nonstop. It's six thousand eight hundred and sixty words. It's one of my favorite chapters I've ever written, and I'm really proud of it. I hope you like it. 

Here are songs that you should listen to while reading (I'll put an A/N for when you should start listening to them):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rnk009NAeFo  Work Song by Hozier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtRIz7VocNs   Cherry Wine by Hozier

Hope you enjoy the chapter! Update as soon as I can :)

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CHAPTER 6

It was hectic once we arrived. The train ride was mostly just me falling asleep on Jackson's shoulder and jumping off a train with a hazy mind. Everything felt so weird, like I was experiencing everything behind a window. That I acknowledged my emotions but never displayed them, just kept the same straight line of my mouth. It's not like I felt sad or depressed, in fact it was the opposite, I couldn't feel depressed. My brain wasn't letting me, but I was also not feeling happy or laughing or even excited that I was back in Dauntless. I only started feeling like this after I woke up, and I was only just beginning to seriously question it.

I stood overlooking the chasm. Jackson had gone to attend his first 'meeting' as a leader and left me with all the others to take out the cameras with the paintball guns. It seemed like so long ago that I would camp out here whenever I felt down. It's like I was in initiation all over again, another sleepless night, another nightmare. I remember how I hated feeling useless, wasting my time, which I was doing right now. So instead of moping around, I stood up, brushed the dust off my hands and made my way over to the training room.

People have various different forms of escapism, whether it were alcohol, drugs, sex, or even art, singing, music, but my way to escape was training. Endorphins were the only drugs I ever wanted to try. The feeling of a satisfying jog that left my muscles aching and my throat parched was the best feeling. It'd been a few days since my last workout, and that was a few days too long. I needed to get into a schedule. I needed to stay in shape.

When I entered the training room, it felt like nothing had changed. The stench of sweat and dust with a tinge of mold still lingered in the air from initiates past, the punching bags were filed in a neat line at the back of the room, and the fighting rings had a fine layer of dust coating them also. It seemed like months since I'd been here, it seemed like hours. My brain had gotten so messed up with all the jumping around from faction to faction to warehouse that I hadn't realized it'd actually been a month now since I'd been captured from Dauntless and sent to Erudite headquarters. Three days in Erudite, two days in amity, two days in Factionless, two weeks in Candor. How could all this time have passed so fast? It was already beginning to get cold, and the first snow could fall any week now. It seemed weird that it may be the last winter of the city I used to know. There were only two outcomes to this war: either the Dauntless would overcome the Erudite's defenses and give back reign to the Abnegation, or the Erudite would get what they wanted with their serums and simulations and have a city wide control over the people. Even if the reign did go back to the Abnegation, this place would never be the same.

I pulled out a punching bag, then went to the back closet to find the guns, knives and weights. I pulled out one gun, and a few small weights because I felt a little more energized today. I started with a warm up of jumping jacks, jump rope (yes the Dauntless have jump rope. That's why they were so quick on their feet in the ring) and neck stretches. Then proceeded to beating the shit out of the punching bag, imagining that it were Eric or Jeanine. Which helped. A lot. Next was target practice, which was a little tricky. It'd been awhile since I held a gun, and unfortunately my aim was completely off, which was infuriatingly frustrating. After a while, I got better, but it still wasn't good enough. God knows what would've happened if I pulled out the knives.