If I Could

{25} - It's A Hard Life

"Get out of my way", Belle said to Rami as he kept blocking the doorway. "I need to go now".

"I won't let you leave this house until you tell me why the hell you're so agitated", Rami responded as he grabbed his girlfriend's shoulders.

"My dad called me", she squeaked. "And he sounds deeply upset. I don't know why he's acting this way. Something tells me that he might know I'm pregnant but I don't how he'd find out".

"Well, you hid this from him. He's your father, he's obviously going to be upset, he has every right to be", Rami responded.

"I never said he didn't".

Rami moved aside and let Belle get out, she immediately started her car and left. She was really nervous, drowned in the same deep feeling of despair that had been chasing her for weeks and consumed every minute of her time. After driving for several minutes, she finally arrived to her father's house, and stood still for a few minutes before ringing the doorbell. She felt extremely uneasy, wondering what would come next if she pressed it.

Her father opened the door, and she immediately knew what was going on. Freddie looked dull, his eyes full of pain. The bright, flamboyant Freddie Mercury she had always known was nowhere to be seen. It was only a gaunt and betrayed version instead.

"How the hell did you even gather the courage to hide this from me, Gabrielle?", he asked ever so slowly, as if he had no confidence in his own words.

Belle lowered her head, she could feel the tears starting to well up. She felt incredibly stupid and gross, as if she had done the most obscene thing on earth. It had started to sink in: She had hidden her pregnancy to her father and was brave enough to keep seeing him and not tell him a single thing. She had always dreamt of the day when she would be pregnant and share her joy with her parents. That day was here now and it was so far away from the perfect situation she had always hoped for.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Dad", she cooed with a shaking voice, holding back tears. "I was going to tell you, but I was too nervous and didn't know how to do it".

"Yet you did a great job telling your mother", Freddie said, hating every single authoritative word that was coming out of his mouth, but he really couldn't say them in another tone.

"I was obviously trying to tell you", Belle affirmed, still unable to look in her father's direction. "But my relationship with my mother is different. I'm not saying I'm not close to her, but there's a different bond. My relationship with you is much more personal. I knew that I needed to prepare very well to tell you I'm pregnant, especially because you're not fond of Rami and I knew you would be disappointed".

Freddie sighed heavily. He had obviously believed in Mary when she said their daughter was pregnant, but hearing Belle say it somehow made everything more real.

"This is everything I needed to hear, Gabrielle", Freddie retorted, stepping back, indicating that he was ready to close the door. "I still wish you and Rami good luck".

"I'm sorry that I did this to you. I'm sorry that I take such stupid decisions", Belle burst into tears, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Yeah. Me too", Freddie responded with gloomy eyes that hurt Belle's sight and tore her soul into pieces.

"Excuse me?", Belle spat, leaning towards her father to make sure she had heard him correctly.

Freddie slammed the door in front of Belle's face, disappearing behind it. It was an unprecedented act of rudeness that Freddie had never done before. She didn't mean to take his words or actions personally, especially not when he was so emotionally distressed. But she was still devastated, unable to move or think clearly. She wanted to talk to her father again, but she needed to go. It was raining heavily and it was late, even though she knew she didn't want to go home. Her heartbeat was erratic, but right then, at that point, she'd wish that it'd just stop forever.