If I Could

{2} - Funny How Love Is

Thank you to everyone who read, voted and commented on the first chapter! It means the world to me. This chapter doesn't really contain a lot of drastic updates, but new chapters will come out very soon. Enjoy!

It had been a hard day, but she had done it. She had done it all. She had smiled for the cameras, she had listened to the same old stories her grandmother kept telling, she had answered to the very same questions she's heard all of her life: how is Freddie Mercury as a father?

And she didn't really want to tell anyone about Roger now, she just wanted to keep the emptiness to herself, go straight to her room and cry all night long, but a part of her - a little part of her wanted to at least say his name out loud, a little honor to the fact that the old painful memory that he represented had come back that day.

Freddie was sitting in front of his piano, rehearsing the new music that he would release later that year with his friend Montserrat Caballé. It actually made her happy to think he was given the opportunity to collaborate with his idol.

Belle stood right by the door, deciding not to enter the room until her father had finished playing his song. However, it didn't take him long to notice his daughter was there.

"Belle", he said while abruptly drawing his fingers away from the piano. "How was your day with your mom?"

"Uh, you can already imagine. Lots of fancy stuff, my aunt's weird friends, who are also my mom's friends, just asking me about how you are as a father", Belle answered with a tone of irony in her voice.

Freddie giggled. "I really hope you have nice things to say, though".

"I do, I always tell them about how much you hate being away from me, because even If you're my father, it's a compliment for me".

Freddie let out a little smirk, thinking about how his daughter considered his efforts to always keep her by his side. "You already know, when I was eight I was sent to a boarding school in India and it was very difficult for me to be without my parents", he recalled. "I thought that If I could avoid you from going through the same thing, that would be nice".

And that was what she loved about her father. It didn't matter if she was having a bad day, he would always tell her something sweet to make her feel at least a little bit better, even If he didn't know what she was going through.

"Dad", Belle said as she sat on a sofa. "Do you remember who Roger Taylor is?"

The question came a little out of the blue for Freddie, but he was willing to answer it. "Roger Taylor... wasn't he the guy you had a crush like, ten years ago?"

Belle giggled at her father's notion of time. "No, it definitely wasn't ten years ago. But yeah, I'm talking about that guy".

"What's up with him?".

Belle stopped a little to think about whether she would tell him the explicit truth or not. She couldn't lie to him, but telling him that she had just developed feelings for a man she hadn't seen in years that had just become a father again was a little too embarassing to her.

"Today, I....", Belle made a brief stop to put her sentence together. "I found that, after all these years, I still can not get over him".

Freddie was a bit taken aback, sitting next to his daughter now.

"What do you mean, darling? You haven't seen him in years".

"I know, and that's why I feel so helpless and ridiculous. He probably found someone else and doesn't even remember me anymore. Funny how love is." The first sentence was a fact, though.

"Belle, everyone has their own reasons to feel sad. And, now, look, maybe not everything's lost. You can find a way to contact him again", Freddie said, not very sure of his words, but at least trying to bring his daughter some comfort.

"Oh, dad, I wish I could", Belle looked at her father. "I mean, I obviously can contact him again, but there's a reason why it would be immoral for me to do it".

"He's dating someone?"

"He just had a child", Belle lowered her head, trying to hold back tears. "Do you know how messed up this is? I don't even know why this happens to me", Belle said while burying her face in her hands.

Freddie stood silent for a moment, trying to find the right words to tell his daughter.

"But Belle, are you sure you still love him? You haven't really talked about him in... months, or even years. Keep in mind that the Roger that you miss probably isn't the same Roger anymore".

Belle closed her eyes for a moment to process the painful truth of the last sentence her father had just said.

"I know, Dad, but I can't really answer that. I love him, but I know he isn't the same anymore. I have realised that I have allowed myself to feel so much more now that my mother isn't living with me. She kept me busy and stressed. Living with you has allowed me to let go of so many toxic barriers, and I think that is why this is happening right now", without realizing, she was answering to the questions she had earlier about why she had not think about him for such a long time. "My mom never allowed me to think about love for many time".

Freddie was surprised at the sincerity and depth of his daughter's words that almost seemed like a catharsis. He hugged her.

"Belle, darling, I have had my painful love experiences too. But look, always remember this", he said while directly looking into his daughter's eyes, "You meet everyone for a reason: If someone breaks your heart, keep that heartbreak, and be stronger. If someone falls deeply in love with you, keep that love, and learn to be grateful".

Belle was surprised by his father's sentimental words, because he usually wasn't like that at all, but that was the reason why she was so grateful to have him as a father. She was one of the few people that got to see his softer side.

"Thank you, Dad", Belle thanked Freddie. "I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. You know a lot of things I could never come up with".

"Oh, Belle, what I tell you are just rip-offs of the words your grandmother used to tell me when I was going through my early heartbreaks", he said while laughing.

"Are you tired right now, Dad? I feel a little bit sleepy, but I want to keep you company", Belle changed the topic a little bit, asking after she yawned.

"Don't worry, darling, I definitely need to go to bed now too. Sleep well, and you might feel better tomorrow", Freddie said as he tapped his daughter's shoulder.

He was right, she probably would feel better after a good sleep. She needed to rest though, because she would have dinner the following day with her best friend: Brian May.