Stuck In Reverse (#wattys2018)

(3) "What the hell do you mean by getting married?!"

I slammed my books on my desk, trying not to think about the earlier incident but, of course that was all I could think of.

Stupid sexy face, stupid cool voice! Why the hell did he posses these attributes?! He was a jerk for crying out loud!

"I hope I never see you and you rot in hell!" I muttered angrily, staring into space.

"You hope I rot in hell?"

What?

I turned back to find...

DRAKE!

FREAKING DRAKE, MY ALL TIME CRUSH?

THE ONE WHO NEVER NOTICED ME?!
YES...THAT ONE!!!

Wait!

what did he say again??

I froze.

"No n-no I wasn't, I-it wasn't..y-you, I.."

Gosh!!

The stammering again!? Can't I just pronounce a freaking word without stammering??

Am I not supposed to behave cool if I want him to talk to me again after this?

I hate my life!

"I know, I know, Its okay... I was just messing with you Leah," he laughed and I turned to look at him wide eyed.

"Y-you know..."   I took a deep breath  "my n-name?"

He laughed again but I wasn't focusing on that.

He knew my name!
He knew me!!
Oh my god he knows my name!!!
He fucking knows my name!!!!

"Are you okay?" His voice of concern laced through my thoughts.

Dark red stained my creeks and I looked down at my laps, trying not to yell out loud.

HE CARES ABOUT MEEEEEE!!

"I-I'm alright, Thank you."

gosh Leah, try NOT to stammer for once??, like... What the heck??

But then, would I sound utterly crazy if I said I felt like disappearing?

I know, I know, I wished he would notice me but then it feels so overwhelming.

"You look really...." He paused.

Maybe thinking of a way not to really hurt my feelings.

I stared up at him sadly, at least I should see the look on his face when he ruins my life.

He chuckled, biting down on his lips and scratching the back of his head.

I tilted my head to the side a little, confused.

Why did he look flustered? Was he going to tell me I had something on my face? A stain?!

I groaned inwardly. Oh way to go Leah.
Now he is going to think you're an immature wimp!!

I looked down at my laps, fiddling with my fingers.

"Really beautiful... You look really beautiful Leah."

I choked.

On my spit, how awful is that?!

He quickly held my hand, patting my back with a look of concern while I continued coughing, my face the colour of a ripe tomato.

"Are you okay?" He asked rubbing soft circles down my back.

"I..yeah (coughs), I'm..I guess.. (Coughs), I'm alright..(cough cough) went down the..wrong..t(cough)ube" I muttered, tears staining my face while Drake rubbed my back, a worried look etched on his beautiful eatable face.