Inadequate

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Chapter 15 Inadequate

Peter glanced over at Kevin as they rode to the police station. Neither had spoken a word since leaving the hospital. Bashir had locked up the lab and taken his littles home. Kira was staying overnight with Cash in the hospital.

I've been trying so hard to protect him from this guy all this time and I failed. Some other man, a pregnant one at that, did what I couldn't do. He sighed heavily and looked straight ahead. I'm such a failure as a boyfriend.

Kevin turned as Peter slammed his fist on the dash. He frowned slightly then went back to staring out the window.

"There was nothing you could have done," Kevin said gently.

"I should have been there."

Kevin ran a hand through his hair. "You can't be with me 24/7."

"We all agreed to look out for you," he snapped.  " I failed to protect you."

"But Cash didn't." He gasped loudly and braced against the dash as the car screeched to a halt.  A car passed around them blaring the horn.  He looked over at Peter. Peter had his head on the steering wheel. For a moment, Kevin thought he was unconscious.

"Peter?"

Peter's voice was dark and far away. "I know Cash saved you. Do you know how that makes me feel? That my partner not only was nearly killed by some psycho but that my partner was saved by a pregnant omega who happens to be a mere lab assistant. I don't think you can feel any lower as an alpha male."

Kevin sat quietly. His heart raced in his chest. What could he say?

"I-"

Peter wiped his eyes with his forearm and started driving again. He sniffed and cleared his throat. "Forget what I just said."

Kevin reached out to touch him but he recoiled.

Peter patted his leg. "I'm fine. Let's just hurry and get you to the police station."


Chapter 16 –Self- Loathing

 After the police station, they came home and Kevin passed out as soon as his head hit the mattress.  Peter smoothed back Kevin's silky black hair.He snored lightly as his eyes moved behind his puffy eyelids. His lips were red and swollen from being punched. Fresh blue stitches stood out just under his cheekbone on a red-purple bruise that screamed out against his pale skin.

Peter sighed heavily. You've gone through so much because of that guy. When it mattered most, I wasn't able to protect you. He bent down and kissed him on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

The bed creaked as he stood and walked out the bedroom. My chest hurts so much. In a matter of months, that guy was able to take my Kevin and turn him into a skittish little mouse. Then like some deranged predator, he put his hands on him and damaged him.

He took a shot glass out of the cabinet and poured a drink. The worst thing is I was helpless to do anything about. I wasn't there. He poured another shot. I was at some stupid meeting. The second shot went down smoother than the first. He poured and inhaled two more. Heat coursed through his body and he loosened his tie. What would have happened if Cash wasn't there?

He grabbed the bottle and took a long swig. No, the worst thing isn't that I was helpless to do anything.

He laughed dryly.  "The worst thing is he was saved...by a pregnant omega. Someone bred to be less superior to alphas. Someone bred to...breed," he said to the walls.  He held the bottle to his lips and gulped it down. The liquor dribbled down his chin and onto his shirt. He slammed the nearly empty bottle down on the counter.

"Shit!" He covered his face with his hands as tears burned down his face. "What does that fucking say about me?!" He looked down at his hands. "I'm an alpha and fucking useless, that's what! That my mate was saved by someone like that! Fuck!"

He slammed his fists on the marble counter and then flung everything off the top. The vodka bottle, several glasses and seasonings shattered to the floor. "What a disgrace."

Kevin stood in the doorway glaring at him. "Is that what you think of Cash? Of...yourself? "

Peter looked up through his tears. "Compared to him, I'm nothing."  His voice was beginning to slur.

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe I'm not the one for you."

Kevin flinched. "If...that's how you feel."

Peter held his hands out to him as if to show him how useless his hands were.  "I couldn't save you."

Kevin stormed across the kitchen and grabbed Peter's shirt. He was furious.  First, being attacked, then Cash being injured, the shitty hour and a half interview/interrogation at the police station that made Kevin feel like he was the perpetrator, and now a drunken alpha.  He so was not up for this shit.  "I don't need you to save me!   When did I ever say that?!"

"That's part of my job as an alpha and your partner."

He shoved Peter against the counter. His chest felt tight and his heart was beating like crazy. "You are so fucking arrogant! You're so caught up on alpha this, alpha that! You're a fucking human! You make mistakes!"

Peter pulled a strand of his hair. He bent down and kissed Kevin softly.  "And you were almost killed. How can I show my face? Competent and capable Dr. Esson's mate saved by a pregnant omega?"

There was a loud smack and Peter nearly fell to the floor. The side of his face was on fire as Kevin towered over him with his hands clenched at his sides, trembling with rage.

His eyes narrowed.  His voice was low and even.  "You're right. Maybe you're not the one for me. Your way of thinking is selfish. Do you really care what happened to me or how I feel or are you pissed at how you'll be viewed by others?"

Peter said nothing as he rubbed his burning cheek and looked at the floor.

"I've known you for five years. We've dated for three. Until now, I've never seen the real you."

Peter sucked his teeth.

Kevin turned and walked out the kitchen. "I'm leaving."

Peter chased after him and grabbed Kevin's wrist. "Where are you going?"

Kevin snatched his arm away and walked toward the door. "I don't want to see your face for a while."

"Kev-" his words were cut off as the door slammed shut. He slid onto the floor and covered his face with his hands as fresh tears rolled down his face.

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