My Love is a Star (BTS Suga Fanfiction)

30. Depression

Society has a way of setting whatever is ideal according to their eyes. Whatever is unpleasing, they hate and bash. Simple as that. So one should be thin but not too thin. When you gain even just a pound, they call you a pig. Like what the fuck! We even just drink coffee all day just to fill our hungry stomachs and keep us awake to do show after show.

We get an hour to no sleep at all each day and we still have to put up with the one meal a day diet. It even gets to the point when one of us ate just one meal in 10 days. Like how sick is that? All so we could fit their standards.

No wonder a lot of people I know underwent cosmetic surgery just so they'd level up to the public's definition of beauty.

Like most idols, I've gone through psychiatric help. I tried to see things through by myself but it led me nowhere.

Talking to a shrink about my feelings was something I swear I'd never do. I'm not crazy. But finding myself lying on the bathroom floor right before we get on stage was the wake-up call for me. I was sinking deeper and deeper into this hole I've created for myself and I was crying for help.

Feeling like this right now was almost the same. The only difference is I know how to feel better.

I know what my cure is.

Who it is.

But then again, society had me stringing by the neck. I had to conform to what they want and having a relationship is not one of them. I wish they'd feel our pain. I'd gladly trade places with them even for a day just to make them get the feel of this semi-charmed kind of life.

They profess their undying love for us but do they even think that we also have needs just like they do?

This is what fame is about. It builds us up only to tear us down.

We're all seated in the meeting room waiting for whoever was presiding over this useless talk. I want to get this over with quickly. I want to be alone.

Another half-hour passed and still no sign of this primadonna we're waiting for. I got up and head to the washroom. If this meeting still doesn't start when I get back, I'm walking out.

I could hear the kids fighting over something I couldn't make out. Being around them annoys me so much. They're too freaking loud and they don't seem to run out of games to play with. Silly little dickheads.

I stayed in the washroom for a few more minutes. I was actually just standing by the door.

My eyes feel heavy. Damn. I feel like crying again.

Man up! Stop acting like a crybaby and get your shit together!

The room outside fell silent. Finally some consideration from those guys!

I blinked the slightest sign of tears away and slightly opened the door.

The boys have left. Those idiots.

I swung the door open and led myself out when something caught the corner of my eye.

I was not alone.

My hand on the doorknob began to shake as the face started to clear up before my eyes.

Rozie?

I couldn't believe it. She was there. She was right there.

She had the same look on her face as mine. Her hands were clasped together. Her long hair fell on her shoulders. Her eyes were fixed on mine. Her cheeks were a dash of pink. The same color she has on her lips. She looked breathtaking. I feel like fainting.