Confused » Jelsa AU

42

Elsa Winters

Ever since Jack and Astrid started talking, they became inseparatable. Wherever one would go, the other would follow as if they couldn't live without being in each other's side literally, metaphorically, and physically. The two would laugh at the most randomest joke or sing at the most randomest song while I sat here feeling like a third-wheel with my heart shattering into pieces.

He was my buddy.

But I guess I'm no longer his.

"I said babe man's not hot!" The two sang along to the annoying trash playing on the stereo while I sat here being the bitter person I am. What annoys me so much is how Jack oblivious to my feelings. I've been sending death glares and slamming doors ever so harshly yet he still hasn't got the message that I am jealous.

"I really love this song!" Astrid bobbed her head along to her so-called 'song' as the greatest doofus agreed.

"Yeah. Me too!" I rolled my eyes at their childishness before grabbing the remote control and turned off the stereo. I am not having any of their sickly sweet bullshit in front of me.

He tells me that he loves me but then he's here right in front of me dancing with a girl that he only knew five hours ago.

If Jack wants to play the fire, I would give him the fire and burn him using it.

"Elsa!" He whined. I ignored him and turned on the television instead.

"Don't be rude, Elsa." Jack spoke again.

"The song's annoying plus I gotta watch the news!" I snapped, flicking through every channel. Jack didn't responded anymore, knowing that if he argued with me even more, he would end up being buried six feet under.

Oh, he's not the only one who would be buried.

"Uhm, we were enjoying the son--"

"I wasn't. So, please, be considerate." I cut her off, smiling to myself when I caught a glimpse of her crestfallen expression. I was supposed to treat her like a true guest living in a comfortable home but then, I was never the type of person who appreciates people who tries to steal my man, especially my best-buddy away from me.

"Okay." Astrid responded, feigning up a smile before she vanished into the kitchen. Sighing, I turned my gaze into the television that flashed the two reporters delivering some news telling that the economic stand of the country is somewhat going well.

I never really pay attention to the details but his presence behind me intimidates me and it made me want to ignore him as I make it seem like I really into economics.

"Tell me, Elsa, are you jealous?" I flinched at his question, silently cringing inside. I didn't turned my gaze to him. I just couldn't. At this moment, I feel like I am ultimately vulnerable and easy to read. I don't want him to think that I am pathetic just because I am getting envious towards their sweet actions for each other.

"Elsa?"

"Of course not. Why would I?" I asked, letting out a chuckle.

"The way you tell her to fuck off--"

"I have no right to be jealous because there's nothing between us." I immediately cut him off just to shut his suspicions towards me. A humorless chuckle filled the air and a sigh followed after; he seems upset.

"That hurts though."

*-*-*

"Astrid would you like to go with me to the market?" Jack offered the blonde girl who happily jumped off the couch and ran towards him. His arm wrapped around her shoulder while he spared no offer to me and exited the apartment room, leaving me all alone with a big hurricane of questions that are wanting to be answered.

Is she prettier? Am I ugly? Did he found himself tired from waiting for my answer? Did I do anything wrong? Is Astrid much more charismatic than I? Am I getting fat? Is he disgusted at my odd ways? Is he still in love with me?

Geez, everything seems to be frustrating!

As much as I want to go to bed and sleep everything off, I knew that I couldn't because these questions would just haunt me until I could no longer catch some sleep.

So, I went to the bathroom and faced the mirror on the wall. The reflection of a fucked-up version of me was there--oh wait, I'm already the fucked-up version. Sighing, I let my fingers comb through my tangled hair before twisting it up in a bun and tied it with an elastic. Somehow, my reflection looked a bit more composed than earlier.

I just need a pep talk to resolve all of the questions that's swirling around my head.

"Is she prettier?"

She's undeniably pretty but I have to say that my ass is much more nicer than hers.

"Yes, but I have juicy ass."

"Am I ugly?"

Probably yes but then I have a wonderful blessing from God that protrudes from my behind-- it's my ass.

"Maybe."

"Did he found himself tired from waiting for my answer?"

Truthfully, he never presses me about that topic in which he could be tired of waiting for me to say the three words back. I'm not really good with my words that's why I couldn't get to say it to him because I might ramble things that could make the situation more awkward.

He probably got tired.

"Probably."

"Is Astrid much more charismatic than I?"

She kinda hate socializing with other people. She only does it when she needs something from them plus her sense of humour sucks.

"No, I am more charismatic than her because my sense of humor is crude and everyone these days seems to enjoy crude humour."

"Am I getting fat?"

Yes.

"My ass is fat. That's probably a yes."

"Is he disgusted at my odd ways?".

To be perfectly honest, he doen't have the right to be disgusted because his ways are more odd and not to mention, more grotesque than mine.

"Jack is much more disgusting than I am which means he shouldn't be disgusted with my unique way of dealing with things."

"Is he still in love with me?"

I thought about all the things we did when Astrid didn't showed up. He cuddles me into his arms. He's usually clingy and would be devasted if I left him for more than two hours. He kisses me goodnight. He washes my clothes. He gives me morning hugs. He tells me every thought that he had in mind. But now, it changed. He didn't hugged me today. He's occupied with Astrid. He seldom spoke to me, only when he needed something. He's with her in the market for already two hours now.

It hurts.

"I don't know."

***************

i hadnt updated for a long time because i dont feel writing this book anymore. it feels like the spark of writing fanfictions vanished... i dont know-- im probably just feeling lazy or uninspired.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would try my best to get my ass up and finish this trash.

Love yall!