fuck boy 2.0 | kang daniel

♡ valentine's day special ♡

[poem & diary format]

of all the flowers that bloom beautifully in the spring, of all the flowers that shine delicately under the warm sunlight, of all the flowers that splatter their magnificent colours all over this dull world-

14/2/11

dear diary:

i thought that i'd be spending valentine's day with ryuwon again this year.

i really thought that i would get married to her someday, spend my entire life with her right by my side.

but it didn't turn out that way.

nowhere close to it.

14/2/12

dear diary:

2 years without ryuwon.

i don't know how i managed to survive so long without her.

it's funny how many times i've thought of committing suicide after we broke up, but never actually had the guts to do it.

i used to miss her more and more every single day, but nowadays, i can go 24 hours without having her in my mind.

i'm slowly moving on.

14/2/13

dear diary:

maybe this year i'll find someone else.

someone who matters to me as much as ryuwon used to.

i don't want to repeat the same foolish mistake of being too easily trusting and too naïve.

oh, right. i almost forgot that i'm turning 18 this year.

time really passes so quickly, i've already spent 3 years without ryuwon.

she rarely comes into my mind now, only when it's valentine's day will i get reminded of how much a break-up hurts.

14/2/14

dear diary:

today my desk was filled with boxes of chocolates and bouquets of red roses.

it almost feels weird to think about.

but out of the hundreds of love letters, how many are actually sincere?

i still remember the letter i gave to ryuwon on valentine's day 4 years ago.

i'm kang daniel, your junior from class 3R. i think you're really pretty and i like you a lot! if you think the same way about me, write back :)

how shallow-minded was i at age 15? liking someone just because of their looks.

wasn't i just like the people who gave me those letters?

14/2/15

dear diary:

fuck.

it came back again..

i hate doing this, but for some reason i can't stop.

i've broken so many hearts on valentine's day.

just like how mine was, too.

but why am i hurting people just like ryuwon?

i don't want to be like ryuwon.

14/2/16

dear diary:

girls in school stare at me as if i'm some kind of god.

all it takes is one smile and their faces go red.

they're all like roses.

beautiful to look at, but as soon as they wither, you'll get bored of them and move to another one.

ryuwon was a rose with thorns.

her beauty captivates you.

but as soon as you get too close to her, you'll bleed.

14/2/17

dear diary:

that rin girl i met online.

she doesn't seem like a rose.

she seems more like..

a daisy?

innocence, pure, cheerful.

but it doesn't seem like she likes people like me very much.

i guess i'll just have to put on a façade in order to get closer to her.

it'll be a pity to not grasp this golden chance, she's intriguing.

14/2/18

dear diary:

love.

it's just as magical as people described it to be.

possibly even more magical than how people describe it to be.

7 years ago, i would never expect myself to be this happy.

i saw ryuwon as my lighthouse when it was dark. i was dependent on her for everything, so much so that when she left my life for good, i crumbled.

rin is a ray of sunlight.

what's so different about the two of them?

ryuwon turned off her light when i needed it the most.

but rin shone her light on me regardless.

she made me realise that even when the days are dark, there will always be someone who will bathe you in their warmth.

~

of all the flowers that bloom beautifully in the spring, of all the flowers that shine delicately under the warm sunlight, of all the flowers that splatter their magnificent colours all over this dull world-

- i only have my eyes on you.

(a/n: happy valentine's day everybody!! i hope you all can find someone who will love and care for you unconditionally, someone who will be there for you amidst the harshest of storms 💜)