fuck boy 2.0 | kang daniel

note (not an update)

everyone, you must've heard about the news by now, right?

shinee's jonghyun passed away yesterday, he's been taken away from us.

depression and other mental illnesses are so stigmatised in south korea and most asian countries, they think it's something that'll get in the way of your work. they fail to realise that it means you've lost the motivation to do things you enjoyed before, you question whether your life has any worth, you question if anyone even enjoys being with you.

depression is scary, it really is. it swallows you whole, and you want to reach out, you want someone to help you get out of it, but you're scared that'll you'll just be a burden to them.

you are not a burden.

if you're suffering, and you need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to speak to the people you trust.

i don't understand just how horrible depression really is, because i've never had it before, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, i'm always here.

at around 6:20pm (sgt) yesterday, i saw the post on twitter that jonghyun had passed away. i didn't want to believe it, i kept thinking to myself 'sm hasn't released an official statement yet, it's not true, right?'

but then more and more articles popped up, the gangnam police confirmed his death, his suicide note to his sister.

i was in shock, i was shaking so much, i really didn't want to believe it but at the same time i knew i had to.

i'm not a shawol, but i'm a human being. being a human who's capable of feeling emotions is all you need to feel the immense sorrow jonghyun's sudden passing brought us.

so please, if you're hurting in any way, please tell someone. anyone. don't bottle it up, don't let your depression drown you.

your life is too precious to be taken away so quickly.

you are worthy of living.

you are loved by many people.

i know it's hard now, i know it seems so easy to just end it all, but there are people who care about you and they would do anything for you to be alive and well.

and, to jonghyun:

thank you for supporting the lgbtq+ community, for speaking out about mental illnesses, for being an inspiration to many people and for making music that spoke to so many people.

i hope that when you've reached heaven, you find your happiness, i hope you don't have to experience pain ever again.

rest in peace, kim jonghyun. we will always remember you, and we will always love you.