How Can I Keep Walking?

Sick Reality

"Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall."  

Allen's P.O.V.

Although he had woken up hours ago, the air in the room seemed to suffocate him, every creak of the house and howl of the wind felt as though it could crush his rib cage in an instant. Lavi had sat silently at the side of the bed, although his body was facing Allen, he looked as though he wasn't even connected to the current situation. Allen finally decided to sit up, a headache immediately hammering his temples that caused him to wince in pain which gained a reaction from the recently attentive Lavi. "Are you okay Allen..?" Lavi asked in a hushed tone of voice as if he already knew Allen had a splitting headache. Allen simply shook his head and muttered "headache." 

Lavi got up silently, the only sound in the room was the faint thumps of his footsteps against the dark, wooden floor. Allen's mind was screaming a million different things, the most prevalent thought being to fucking escape, to just run from it all and never look back. "They can't fix you, you fucking piece of shit. How long have you been lying to them? Who would want to help someone whose relationship has been built off of lies?" his mind was racing and Allen finally decided that running would be the best course of action. Allen silently got up, noticing he had a familiar bracelet on his wrist but not paying much attention as he pulled on his jacket which was slung over the chair Lavi had just been occupying. Allen made his way to a nearby window, deciding it too risky to leave through the door.

"Thank god i'm on the first floor" Allen thought to himself, still clutching his head as he unlocked the window and began to push it up to make his great escape. Suddenly, he heard the footsteps of Lavi began to get closer to the door. Allen began to panic, not knowing whether to throw himself through the window or simply accept defeat and have to be trapped in a house where he was surrounded by nothing but the result of his lies. Allen decided the latter wasn't an option and slipped through the window right as he heard the door open. He breathed a sigh of relief as he began to limp his way down the driveway when he heard a deep voice off to his left and a strong arm wrap around his waist.

"Why the fuck are you outside when you're recovering?" Allen looked up and his defeated, silver eyes were met with Kanda's enticing cobalt eyes. Allen said nothing, allowing his shoulders to slump in defeat as tears freely ran down his cheeks. The arm that was firmly planted around his waist positioned itself to his mid back and Kanda spoke to him quietly. "I'm going to pick you up and take you back inside." Again, Allen said nothing as Kanda effortlessly picked him up and brought him back to the house that he so desperately wanted to escape. Allen hid his face in Kanda's chest to avoid the looks of disappointment from everyone in the house. 

Soon enough, Allen was being laid back down and Kanda helped to take his jacket off of him and the window he had escaped from was now closed. Lavi sat on the bed next to him and handed him a water bottle and a few blue pills, which he was assuming was ibuprofen. He took it hesitantly and laid back down, not making eye contact with anyone. "Allen you really shouldn't be moving around.. especially with everything that happened.." Lavi trailed off but attempted to sound cheerful "why don't we watch a funny movie or something on my laptop?" Allen simply shook his head and looked up at Lavi. "I think.. we need to talk.." Lavi's eyes widened slightly as Allen spoke but in a flash, the fear was gone from his eyes and he tried to smile through it. "Sure!"

 "I.. want to be alone with Lavi.." Allen said quietly. He could hear a dejected sigh come from Kanda but he left the room and closed the door behind him. Without saying anything, Lavi pulled Allen carefully to his chest, stroking his hair slowly. Allen closed his eyes and he could feel the familiar burning in his throat that usually came when he wanted to cry.