How Can I Keep Walking?

Unrest

"Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." 

Kanda P.O.V.

Kanda could feel himself tense as Allen said those words to him, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as his mind began to race with the endless possibilities Allen could bring to his life. He tilted his head slightly as his cobalt eyes made contact with Allen's tired, silver eyes. Kanda could tell Allen was nervous, he was wringing his hands and he had shifted his posture to make himself smaller as Kanda turned to look at him. Internally, Kanda hated how vulnerable he had become in front of Allen, he hated that he sounded like a pathetic life coach to this fucking kid, but he also hated seeing Allen with that loud, red-headed idiot. Kanda's eyes narrowed slightly as he began to speak slowly, thinking of his words carefully. 

"I told you to think about it carefully Moyashi, not to just blurt whatever came to your mind first." Kanda hadn't raised his voice and he tried not to sound irritable, even though he was feeling more than burdened with the recent events that had transpired. His knuckles had turned white due to how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. Kanda broke eye contact in favor of slumping into the drivers seat, placing another cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He felt Allen reach out and gently touch his forearm which sent goosebumps up Kanda's clothed arm. His gaze shifted to his hand but he didn't say anything, anticipating that Allen had something to say.

"I've thought about it since the hospital, Kanda." Allen said in a low tone of voice and Kanda felt his grip tighten on his arm. He continued to sit in silence. "When I woke up to you, finding out that you were the one that saved from myself.." Allen trailed off and Kanda glanced at him, noticing Allen biting at his bottom lip which was already raw and tears had begun to well up in his eyes. Kanda pulled the cigarette away, holding it away from Allen as he wiped the tears away from his eyes before running his hand through Allen's soft, white hair. He watched as Allen's body relaxed and he felt the younger boy lean into his hand like it was second nature to him. 

They continued to sit there in silence, Kanda running his hands through Allen's hair, occasionally allowing his fingers to briefly brush against his neck which always earned a small shiver from Allen. Allen's hand had slid up to Kanda's bicep as he allowed his head to rest on Kanda's shoulder, his hair in his face as he relaxed into his touch. After awhile Allen sat up, Kanda gently removing his hand from his hair, looking over Allen's face which was pink from having his cheek pressed against the fabric of Kanda's jacket. Kanda flicked the cigarette out of the car and stretched. 

"We'll keep this under wraps for now." Kanda said suddenly, his cobalt eyes focused intently on Allen's. "I'll think of a way to make this as painless as possible because I created the situation. So don't worry about it. And make sure to get your fucking math homework done before going back to school because I know you've been avoiding it." Kanda smirked as he watched Allen's cheek turn a darker shade of pink, a flustered looking taking over his face. "I haven't been avoiding it, I just don't understand it!" he said without making eye contact with Kanda.

"Hmm.. I'll make an exception once and let you come over to my apartment, but this is the only time you'll get in for free. Don't take my "kindness" for granted, bean sprout." As he said this, he unlocked the door and motioned for Allen to go inside. "Now go do whatever bean sprouts do in their free time." Allen slid out of the car and hesitated before leaning back into the car and kissing Kanda lightly. "Bakanda!" as he said this, he quickly shut the door and ran inside the house. Kanda chuckled to himself as he began to buckle up. 

"He's getting better." Kanda thought to himself and sighed lightly before pulling out of the driveway and going on a long drive to clear his mind and calm his nerves.