How Can I Keep Walking?

A Boyfriend's Expense

"I have not yet begun to fight."

A heavy silence had settled over the boys and suddenly the car felt as though it wasn't possible to fit both of them into the car at the same time. Despite this, there they were, both staring straight forward at the long stretch of pavement in front of them. Allen barely glanced at Lavi just to see what his initial reaction would be, his grip on the steering wheel had tightened and his expression wasn't able to be read since his hair was obstructing Allen's view. "You always fuck everything up you piece of shit." His mind whispered to him over and over again, the words he had heard so many times before from countless people.

As Allen began to speak, he gripped his bag tighter, wanting nothing more than to fling himself from the moving vehical and be done with the humiliation of blatant rejection. At the same time, Allen could see that Lavi had cracked a smile, causing him to stop the words before they left his mouth. It was the only thing that had changed in the car since the initial question.

Lavi smiled at Allen, his green eyes radiating warmth as he looked over Allen carefully. "Are you serious Al? You would want to date me?" He asked quietly as the car came to a stop in front of a small coffee shop. Allen wasn't sure what was going on or of Lavi actually liked him, but it did light a small fire in his chest, the way Lavi was looking at him. Allen simply nodded and returned the smile, the grip on his bag loosesning and the desire to jump out of the car was lessened.

"Yeah" Allen said softly "I like you.. I think it would be nice.. to rely on you for a change.." the whole time Allen was talking, Lavi was getting more and more radiant, his attention focused solely on Allen. "Well then Fuck yeah! We can date." Lavi paused for a split second before coughing and looking at Allen again "I mean, y-yeah. I'll be your boyfriend." He said softly; and for the first time, in a long time, Allen felt okay with a decision he had made.

—-time skip of a few hours—-

Allen waited patiently with Lavi outside the school as they always had. This time though, they were holding hands. They both had established what they expected from the relationship and how far was too far and all that good, awkward stuff. Allen felt relatively okay with holding hands in public as they waited for their friends so they could tell them the news. Allen was a bit nervous, not knowing how this would all work out. Kanda didn't care but he got the vibe that maybe Lenalee had a small crush on Lavi, though he wasn't for sure and he wasn't going to ask either.

As Kanda and Lenalee drew closer to them, Lavi smiled as he held their hands in the air, almost like a prize. this caused Allen to relax as he watched Lenalee's light up. "I knew it was going to happen any day now! I could feel it!" She said happily as she hugged the both of them. Kanda, however, wasn't indifferent as Allen initially thought he would be, his expression seemed to have soured more and he was quiet for once.

"Come on Yuu! Lig-" as Lavi was saying his piece, Kanda hit him. Not playfully, or even lightly for that manor. They had all seen his fights and that had been a full on punch with nothing held back. Lavi held his face where he was hit, touching his lip piercing to make sure it wasn't injuries before looking up at Kanda, his green eyes devoid of emotion or pain.

"What's wrong Kanda?" He practically spit his name. "Upset that you've finally realized he doesn't fucking give a shit about you?" His voice oozed with both sarcasm and triumph and Allen was thoroughly fucking confused. Kanda glared at Lavi, his hands curled up as fists by his side. "I don't give two fucks about that faggot or what he thinks of me!" Kanda said in a low town of voice, spitting the word faggot before walking away with Lenalee chasing after him, yelling at him for being a jerk. Lavi had seemed to recover but Allen flinched at the word faggot, he was so used to Cross using it that he was sure it didn't hurt anymore; apparently, it did. Especially coming from someone who he had at least thought had human decency. Lavi simply pulled him into his arms, whispering soothing words in his ear. "Check it out babe, since its Friday, just crash at my place, yeah?" He asked softly. Allen blushes at the offer and gave him a grateful smile before nodding. "That sounds really nice. Lets go. Like right now." He said with a smile. And with that, they began to walk back to Lavi's car.

Lavi's P.O.V.

"He's precious." He thought to himself for a split second as he watched Allen get dressed in his clothes. He noticed the bruises, of course he fucking did. He wouldn't and couldn't confront him about it, not anymore. With time, Allen would come to him when it was right, when he didn't have to beg for answer from him.

All Lavi could do was hope that sooner, rather than later, he would finally open up to him.

Allen looked so cute in his clothes, seeing as how Lavi was so much bigger then him, his clothes bagged on him but it was definitely cute. Lavi held out his arms to Allen as he finished getting dressed. "Ready to go to sleep there, snow white?" He said with a playful smile as he turned off the light. "My name is Allen.." he muttered softly as he climbed into Lavi's arms and rested his head on his chest. Cuddling was nothing new for them, this sometimes happened when Allen had a panic attack or if he fell asleep on him.

"This is different.." Lavi reminded himself as he squeezed Allen to make sure he was really there. Lavi was grateful that this big ball of stress had tumbled his way into his life. He could feel Allen's heart beat, beat hard against his chest. His heart was beating hard too as he gently ran his hand through Allen's hair, letting the soft white locks fall in between his fingers. He kissed his ear softly before finally drifting off to sleep.

A/N:

So yeah, AGAIN, THIS NOT A LAVEN. IT WILL ONLY BE THIS WAY FOR A FEW CHAPTERS. It is very much a Yullen, but I needed to do somethin that would bring out the emotions in Kanda.