How Can I Keep Walking?

Scared

"Mental anguish always results from the avoidance of legitimate suffering."

After school, Allen walked with Lavi to the usual spot outside. It was cold outside, so their breath fogged a bit and it nipped at their noses as they stood, waiting for Lenalee and Kanda.

Kanda and Lenalee had class on the other side of campus so they had no choice but to freeze their asses off until they made their way over. Lavi glanced over at Allen and it looked like he was about to speak but Allen interjected.

"Lavi I'm okay, really. You don't need to worry so much, at least it won't scar right?" Allen said, his lies already rehearsed in his head. Lavi sighed softly, a puff of smoke clouding his face. "That's not what I was going to ask, but thanks for the reassurance."

Lavi turned away so he could scout out where the rest of their group was. Allen allowed his eyes to wander over his friends body.  He had always been jealous of Lavi. His shoulders were broad and he wasn't skinny but he was definitely toned. He had, had the honor of seeing his six pack for many years and the beautiful curve of his vline that disappeared into his pants. Lavi had flaming red hair and deep emerald eyes that seemed to pull you in when you have a conversation with him.

His jaw was perfect and the sharp curve of his chin, the spark in his eyes made him smile.

Lavi turned his attention back to Allen, his boots scraping against the asphalt. "If they don't get their asses our here, we're going to have a problem." Lavi laughed gently, and Allen couldn't help but give off a faint smile as his face flushed.

Soon after, Lenalee and Kanda made their way over, complaining about the long speech their teacher decided to give them. They decided to go to Lavi's house, which he was okay with, but he always felt.. like he was being watched. Bookman was a psychiatrist that is on The New York Times best seller list. He writes books about child abuse and how it affects the brain in the physical and mental being of children

As they trudged down the street, Lavi lit a cigarette and passed it to Kanda. Their conversation had stopped and it felt like they were watching him for some odd reason.

He turned his attention away from them, hoping his white hair was long enough to hide his eyes. "So bean sprout," Kanda said, the smirk on his face obvious from his tone of voice.  "Do you know who kicked your ass this morning? Or is it another bullshit story?" Fuck. Allen thought, I really hate him. he just shrugged it off. they all knew Cross wasn't a great role model or guardian so he used his background as an excuse for multiple reasons.

"I think it was just some guys who Cross owes. This isn't the first time it's happened." Allen let that hang in the air between them before he forged up the most plastic smile he could muster "Anyways, I want to forget about it so let's just quit talking about it okay?" Lavi and Lenalee seemed compliant but Kanda glared at the back of his head. Allen pretended not to notice as he hopped up the stairs to Lavi's gigantic home. Contrary to popular belief, his home was huge but it was pretty much empty. Save for the library that took up at least 4 rooms and Lavi's room which was, you guessed it, connected to the library.

He opened the doors, years of being friends with him made it 2nd nature to walk in with out knocking. As he walked in, he slipped off his boots at the door and slung his bag on the marble table tops in the kitchen. He never had anything so nice in his life, so going to Lavi's house was a treat. He almost felt guilty for wanting to come over so much but Lavi assured him he was welcome at any time.

Lenalee took a seat next to him as Bookman emerged from his study, off to the side of the kitchen. He looked tired, but then again he always did. Bookman was a short man who was of obvious Asian Decent,though Allen never dared ask, and he had little hair that he kept bound by a ponytail. They somtimes joked that Bookman was Kanda 50 years in the future. Bookman came into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before he turned his attention to Lavi.