I'll Be Holding on to You

getting things straight

Freak went back to concentrating on the video game, though her rant hadn't affected her impeccable playing.

Freddy looked at me with wide eyes and I shook my head with a look that said pay her no mind.

"Fuck you, Mohammed," Erika said as he ran her off the road again. She shoved him off the bed.

"The hell," he said, but got back up again. It was practically our motto.

"This is why Erika doesn't drive," I informed Freddy.

Mo pointed at his twin. "R-road r-rage," he said knowingly. Only his stutter betrayed how shaken he still was from the night before. He put the controller down and stretched, then came over to sit between Evie and me. He put a handful of cheese popcorn in his mouth.

"Oh, you just suck my dick," Erika said, seeing what he was eating.

Mo put his hands up. "I c-c-can't win," he protested.

Freddy was looking pretty tired.

"Hey, head injury, guess we'll let you crash," I said casually.

He smiled at me. "I could use a nap. Any of you ladies want to stay and help me feel better?" He raised his eyebrows with a smirk usually reserved for some unknowing girl he was currently pursuing.

Wrong answer.

Freak slid off the bed and went to stand near his head, clearing her throat a little. "Hey, Hear No Evil, earbud up," she said in an aside to Evie, whose desire to hear what was about to happen outweighed her intrinsic loathing of swear words.

The rest of us sat back with metaphorical or literal popcorn and got comfortable in anticipation.

"Look, Freddy, we need to get one thing straight, and I'ma go easy on you because you don't remember how things are, but listen. Are you listening?"

Her voice was quiet but deadly, her beautiful face right up in his and he nodded, appropriately cowed and equally awed. Her tiny lisp from the braces made her even more dangerous somehow.

"You do not act like that with us, with any of us, and especially not with or around Evie. I don't care how many times you ever get hit in the head; you keep that whole leering, perverted, fake ass persona to yourself when you're around these ladies, because it's funny and all with other chicks, but we're not other chicks. Just so you know."

She narrowed her eyes so the color was no longer visible though I knew it was a combination of about a thousand layers of every shade of brown in creation. If anyone cared.

Freddy swallowed, no longer sleepy. "Yes, ma'am."

The rest of us hid smiles with various levels of success.

She backed off but not much. "So we're clear?"

"Crystal," he responded, which was actually an exchange they often had, as well as a song reference. "Um, I'm really sorry. I was just kidding."

She looked mollified and got her purse off the floor. "That's fine. I just thought you should know how things are, so there's no confusion until you remember again."

"Fuckin' Erika," I said, shaking my head. It was a wonder Freddy's amnesia wasn't cured by her; how could anyone forget Freak? I got up too and got my purse.

"Fuckin' Erika, my left nut," she muttered. "I am not even going to let that shit get started. Took us long enough to train him out of it, for fuck's sake. Let's go home. I plan to nap the rest of this day away because I am so tired."

We said our goodbyes to Freddy and left him to rest.

We ate a bunch of lasagna and garlic bread that Mo had made the day before, before assuming nap positions.

Evie went to sleep in the privacy of Cam's room, needing alone time. Freak passed out immediately on a couch and Mohammed disappeared into the kitchen.

Cam and I were in dire need of a nap too so I covered Erika with a blanket and we went upstairs. I shut the blackout curtains in my room and we crashed in my bed. Bowser lay curled up against him, legs twitching as he dreamed little doggy dreams.

He asked what we both were thinking after we were under the covers. "What if he never gets his memory back?" The fan was going for the white noise. The TV was on but muted.

"He will." I packed a bowl and sparked it. It was my medicine.

"What if he doesn't?" he insisted. He took the pipe when I offered it and held it.

"Then we'll tell him everything he forgot," I said, logically.

"But that's so much . . . stuff," he fretted.

"Quit babysitting the pipe."

He took his hit and passed it. "Seriously, Dor. How the hell could we do that."

I shrugged, more interested in not spilling the burning bowl into my bed than in answering at the moment. Finally I said, "I mean, I'm jealous as fuck he gets to be totally oblivious about everything, but what are ya gonna do."

"Right?" He waved off the bowl and rolled onto his side, facing me. "But do we tell him everything? When do we tell him? And what? About Haddy?" His voice faltered on her name. "About . . . everything? How do we decide?"

"You're worrying about this too much, love," I said, mildly. I took the last hit and ashed the bowl, pleasantly high. The little anxiety that had been nagging me was gone. I had been born calm, thank God. Mo and I were the foundation of everyone, thanks to our innately composed temperaments.

Cameron, on the other hand, was hopelessly neurotic, a thing which had been done to him.

"Probably." He moved closer to me because he needed the contact. I didn't mind; it made me feel better too. "When do we decide he should know stuff?"

"Cameron."

"I just . . . I just want to know."

"If Freddy needs telling, Mo and I will tell him. Okay? We will figure it out. Trust us."

He did, so he relaxed a little. "Why do these things happen to us." He sighed with a groan.

"BLC, son," I held out my fist and he bumped it. He was asleep a minute later.