Becoming One: In The Heights

Twenty-Four (Becoming One With Holding Her)

Nina sat on the couch with Benny, her head on Benny's shoulder. She had her eyes closed as Daniela and  Carla danced back and forth around the room. Dani was crying again and Carla was desperately trying to comfort her. "Please don't cry baby." Carla said, her arms tight around Daniela's shoulders. "I don't like seeing you sad."

"I'm not sad, Carla. I'm scared. My whole world is being threatened. I don't want Camila to get deported. I know you trust me, but Cami...she'd sure as hell believe someone if they told her I reported her. And then what would happen to Gia?" At the name of her mother and her foster sister, Nina sat up.

"Daniela, you're talking crazy. My mother would never believe that you'd report her and if anything happens, Mom said that she goes to you and Carla."

"But Nina..."

"NO! Dani, you're being ridiculous. Nothing bad is gonna happen. That unknown caller is gonna get what he deserves. You just need to smarten the fuck up." Nina said, breaking. "Now, I'm gonna go write in my stupid baby diary." Nina muttered and walked as fast as she could to her room.

She grabbed a pen, her diary and shut the bedroom door. She wrote silently.

~~~

Nina went to close her diary but instead flipped to the poem she wrote for Benny when she had been 13.

"I fell in love on a Saturday. You were there, you were running your hands through your hair. Waiting for someone else, you were nervous. I know that you are much older. I am young, and I barely come up to your shoulder. But I'm growing. If you only knew...I know that I act like a baby, 'cause you laugh at how crazy I sound. And I know that I'm childish but maybe I'm just helpless when you are around. And I write these useless words in my stupid baby diary when tonight you're staying over and you're sleeping, dreaming quietly. Earlier today I just scurried away when you shot a glance in my direction. But the hour is late and I'm feeling quite brave and I'm getting too old to be scared of rejection-I love you and I know you and I'm getting too old to just do what I'm told and believe me, you'll need me. It was love at first sight when I saw you tonight. (Saw you tonight.) Talks, cheap. I walk down the hall and I must keep silent because you've fallen asleep, I'm in so deep. And I can't sleep tonight 'cause I'm fallin' all the time. You're not helping by ignoring me. And I'm whispering all the time in the hope that something breaks through and you come home to me. Ye-yeah, come home to me. Come home, come home, baby come home. Come home to me. Come home to me. Me, Nina." She felt tears brimming in her eyes as she read it again. And again. And again.

"Benny." She weakly called for Benny who didn't hear her. "Benny...I love you." She called again, cuddling into the pillows on the bed, tears falling down her cheeks. Soon the door opened and Benny walked in. Nina rolled over and Benny saw the tears falling from Nina's eyes.

"Oh baby." Benny rushed to Nina's side. He wiped her tears and played with her curly brown hair. "Oh baby, what's wrong? I thought to give you time to calm down. But what's wrong baby? Why are you upset?"

"I was so mean. Benny, I was so mean to Dani." Nina sobbed, clutching Benny's shirt in her fists, her whole body shaking. "I was a bitch and I..." Nina couldn't finish her sentence because Daniela and Carla had come into the room.

Daniela jumped into action, taking Nina in her arms. Nina tried to apologize but she found she couldn't use her voice. She was just so disappointed in herself. She could have been a better friend. A kinder friend. And she felt like she was mean. Daniela knew Nina felt that way without Nina speaking. "I forgive you, Nina. You're okay. I'm okay. I understand that you're going through some pretty big changes and that can fuck you up. You don't always mean what you say. I get it." She told the 21 year old, kissing her forehead. Nina could only nod, still sobbing.

Daniela, Carla and Benny all hugged Nina, holding onto her, trying to comfort her. Until she finally got her voice back and said. "I only want Dani to stay in here with me." Both Benny and Carla got up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

"I love you Nina. You're like my sister, who happens to be just about half my age. I love you so much. You're a beautiful, smart, loving girl. No matter what you say, I will always love you, Nina. I promise. And even though I'm going through a shit time with that unknown cabron, you will always come first, Nina. Always. No matter what."

"I love you too Dani." The two stayed quiet after that, holding each other, the silence creeping in very softly.

***Author's Note***

Word count: 850

This was kinda cute...I think anyway.

Be fearless.

Xo,
Ryeli