How Can I Keep Walking?

Glowing Warmth

"Kanda, what's with the look on your face?" Lenalee said quietly as she touched his forearm gently. Kanda shook her off gently and shook his head as he muttered something about Sunday drivers and how slow they all are. Lenalee nodded but her expression turned to concern as she relaxed back into her seat.

Soon enough, they arrived at Lavi's house and Lavi jumped out to go unlock the door for everyone, Kanda helping Allen out of his side, being careful not to touch his wrists. As he went to let go of Allen, their hands brushed together but he pretended not to notice and slammed the door closed. "Thank you, Kanda". Allen said quietly and Kanda made a small grunting noise as he walked up the steps and entered Lavi's house that had welcome banners and a bunch of party decorations from Party City that Lenalee and Lavi insisted they get for when Allen came back. 

Kanda sat in the living room as everyone came in and they all began to talk and celebrate the return of Allen. Kanda was relieved to see him bounce back so quickly but he also couldn't shake the irritation he had towards him, he can't read Allen when he's like this. "Did the kiss mean something to him or not?" Kanda questioned in the back of his mind. He knew Allen was with Lavi but what was the point in his reciprocating the kiss, and even making a move the second time to kiss him, if it wasn't going to mean anything when he got out of the hospital? Kanda shook his head and stood up, excusing himself to the bathroom.

Lavi's P.O.V.

As the night went on, Lavi could feel himself beginning to relax. Its been less than three weeks since Allen's suicide attempt but he feels as though his mind is pulling tricks on him. He had nightmares every time he slept. He dreamt of waking up and hearing the news that Allen had actually passed away that night, and there would have been absolutely nothing that Lavi could have done for him. Even while Allen was recovering in the hospital, he felt as though there was nothing he could do for him. It went beyond being able to tell him everything would be okay and it'll get better because he's alive, Allen was fighting a battle everyday that no one else could see. 

As he held Allen in his arms on the couch, he lightly stroked Allen's side, trying to memorize the pattern and shape of his small body. "He is so small compared to me.. or anyone our age, really.." Lavi thought to himself and he let out a deep sigh, pulling Allen closer as he did so. Allen looked up at him, his eyes barely open as he lightly grabbed Lavi's shirt and Lavi could feel his heart melting as he looked at Allen's sleepy face and the way he clung to him like a tired child. "Tired.." Allen mumbled before his head went back to resting on his chest. He glanced up at Lenalee and smiled, pulling Allen closer to him. "I think I'm going to let him sleep here for the night.." He said softly before picking Allen up and cradling him gentle. 

"You two are free to do the same thing." He said as he walked out of the room and brought Allen upstairs into his room. He gently laid Allen down onto the bed and his heart was racing as he looked over his small body and the way his chest was rising and falling in a gentle rhythm. He lightly nudged Allen so he could take off his shirt and Allen complied, sleepily looking up at Lavi as he raised his arms. "You too.." Allen said through a yawn and Lavi smiled, feeling himself falling even more in love with Allen than he already was. Lavi took off his shirt and took off his bandana, throwing it off to the side. 

Lavi took off his pants as well, knowing how warm it gets in his room, especially during the winter with the heater going. Allen looked up at him expectantly as Lavi chuckled to himself and took off his pants for him as well. "I'll keep babying you but I expect compensation for my babysitting" He said playfully as he got into bed next to Allen and pulled him close to his chest, burying his face in his soft, white hair. His body relaxed as he felt their breathing beginning to get into sync and he lightly stroked his back, his eyes closed. "What do you want in return?" Allen asked, sounding a bit more awake than before and Lavi smiled. "Your love, that's all. If we could stay like this forever, I'd be content with just that.." His voice was soft as he pulled him in a little closer.

Allen P.O.V.

Allen could feel his face getting warm and his heart beating out of his chest as he pressed himself against Lavi's chest, letting himself relax into his familiar touch. "I can do that.." he said quietly against Lavi's neck before pulling back just enough to see Lavi's face. "I almost died.." Allen thought to himself. It made him wince every time he thought about the fact that Lavi could be laying in this bed alone, crying over someone as pathetic as him. Allen shook those thoughts away as he pressed the palm of his hand against Lavi's cheek so he could look at his face from a better angle. From the moonlight that shone through the window, he could see Lavi was solely focused on Allen, a very light pink was on his cheeks as looked over Lavi's expression.

Allen wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the words to do so, so instead, he tilted Lavi's head gently and kissed him with as much as passion as he could put into it. Of course, Lavi reciprocated and his hold on Allen's waist tightened to pull him in closer. He kissed Allen until he was sure he would pass out from lack of air. When they finally pulled away from each other, Allen was panting very lightly, running a hand through Lavi's thick red hair. "I'm sorry.. that I tried to leave so selfishly Lavi.. I don't want to hurt you like that.. ever.." He could feel his eyelids beginning to close so he buried his face back into Lavi's neck, keeping himself as close to Lavi as he could. 

"I forgive you, because you're here with me.. you're smiling and you're breathing again.. I'll love you no matter what happens.." He could hear Lavi's voice shake as he spoke and he hummed lightly against his skin before slipping into a comfortable sleep, his hand still tangled in Lavi's red locks of hair and his body being held by Lavi as though he might disappear if Lavi let go. 

---Author's Note---

So here is my new chapter as promised. Not a lot of dialogue, mostly internal musing but there will be a lot more interaction in the chapters to come!

Feel free to leave comments and questions! I get back to everyone who writes to me <3 See you next week! (or maybe sooner *hint hint*)

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