HOCKEY IMAGINES: BOOK 2 // REQUESTS CLOSED

#3: ARTEMI PANARIN - #10 NEW YORK RANGERS

A/N: Please read authors note at the end, it's very important.

Six Months Later:

It's been six months since I last saw Artemi and I've been hurting, my heart is hurting knowing I had the chance to go with him to Columbus but I chose to stay in Chicago and say no to being with Artemi. Why didn't I say yes? I don't love Alec, I love Artemi and my heart will continue to love him forever. We were together for over two years and they were the best two years of my life, I helped him with his English and learning the American culture and in return he taught me stuff about Russia and the language so we could communicate. Seeing him that night at the Blackhawks game, it reopened so many wounds that I thought I had covered up and with it being over six months, they're still here and hurting me with every passing day. 

I've kept up with him and his life in Columbus since he told me he still loves me that night we talked. It hurts every time I think I could be there with him but I'm not there, I'm here in Chicago wanting to be with Artemi. I feel my heart sting every time I see a photo of him and I know I should try to get over him, it's been over nine months since we broke up and I'm with another man yet my heart is still falling in love with Artemi. And I know what I have to do, I have to break up with Alec and stop what we have before we move on further into our relationship.

I sit hesitantly at the cafe Alec and I agreed to meet at, my knee bouncing uncontrollably as I chew on the hem of Artemi's old Blackhawks jumper I wear. My eyes dart around for a glimpse of Alec, my whole body filling with worry when I see him walk into the cafe. Our eyes connect and Alec smiles, I try to smile back but nothing comes onto my lips. Alec slips into the seat facing mine and rests his hands on the table, I look down at his hands and sigh deeply. I don't want to do this, I know what it's like to be on the other side of a break up and how it hurts and feels. But I need to do this, I can't pretend to be in love with Alec when I'm not and I have to let him go and let someone deserving to fall in love with him. 

"I, um, I called you here because I think we need to talk." I start and grip my hands together, my fingers digging into my hands as I bite back my tears. 

"OK?" Alec responds in a unsure tone. 

"Um." I clear my throat and blink before I raise my eyes to meet Alec's. "You're an amazing guy, Alec, one of the greatest guys I've had the pleasure of knowing but I don't think we're working out as a couple. I believe it's me, no I know it's me. I'm not developing the feelings for you that I thought I would, I don't like you anymore than being friends. I don't want to hurt you by breaking up this way, but I think it's time we call it quits with our relationship."

Alec takes a deep sigh and begins to nod his head. "I was waiting for this to happen."

"I'm sorry?" I say in shock at his words. Alec shrugs his shoulders and looks at me, a soft expression on his face and he doesn't look disappointed or sad at my words or the fact that we are breaking up.

"I don't know, we aren't going anywhere with this relationship and I was waiting to see who would make the first move to end it. I'm not heartbroken that we're ending things, in fact, I'm a little glad because nothing was right between us romantically and I'm glad we're ending on a good note instead of a sour one." Alec says sending me a small smile. I feel all worry and anxiety lift from my shoulders, a breath of relief leaves me. 

"I thought you might be angry or upset, I was preparing for the worst." I chuckle awkwardly. Alec chuckles and nods his head, he reaches for my hands and gently squeezes them.

"Don't feel sad or anything, we had a good run and we're leaving on good terms and that's all I ask for." Alec says. I nod my head and Alec stands up from the seat, I do the same and we hug. I rest my head on his chest and keep him in my arms for as long as I can, he's a good guy and deserves the best and I couldn't give him what he wanted. I couldn't love him because I love Artemi.