The Survivors

Chapter 35-Guilt and Charity Balls

"I should have been nicer to all of them... even Sarah... I know she was a bit of a jerk but-" her voice hitches and she breaks down again. Her eyes shining and her lip trembling when her hand falls from her mouth. She roughly crosses her arms, staring hard at the flames. "I-I tried to help but I just couldn't-"

I open my mouth to cut her off, to tell her it'll be alright but she just turns from me. "I'm sorry," she chokes up, "I'll go-"

"No wait," I almost moan, feeling more guilty than before. I reach out slightly but she's already walking away. And I don't go after her. She just walks back towards Elliot's sandcastles where Thalia is sitting with Teren close at her side, arm around her. I sigh and drop my hand feeling stupid. I'm not myself anymore.

"Hey," Shane greets softly, coming towards me from the plane skeleton. I sigh loudly and look down at the flame, waving limply at him.

"Hey Shane."

He stops at my side, taking a bite of his crappy granola bar. Or at least I think it's crappy. It's one of those weird fig bars. They give me a weird taste in my mouth with a weird texture... I shudder at the smell of the mushed fruit stuffed inside of the biscuit. He's the only one who'll eat those things and I'm glad. I'm not eating it unless I have too. The wrapper crinkles as he pulls it back further, flashing me a strange look.

"So... what's up with you?"

I shrug, "Guess I'm thinking of how many ways life sucks," I answer as bluntly as I can.

He laughs a little, "Yeah? Well I've been doing that too. I've got a list in my head, but I think Teren may be writing his down," he jokes and gestures aimlessly back to the plane.

I manage a smile, "So far I've come up with: mutated monsters, deadly water, sharks, aaannnddd... fig bars."

He laughs louder and gestures to his bar, "You really don't like these, do you?"

I nod once.

He grins and holds it out to me sharply, the disgusting strawberry smell hitting my nose. I cringe and shake my head, "That smells terrible, how can you eat that?"

"Easy! You breathe through your mouth," he answers simply, drawing his hand back.

I smirk and nod at him, "Sounds about right."

He nods back at me and looks down at the small bonfire. It's not like the other ones, this one is smaller and more simple. Sammy helped make it saying that it's our night watch bonfire. Claiming giant bonfires are for feasts or "fun" nights. I stare at the flames for a while longer, noticing all the strange colors that flare up inside the assumed red flames. I never realized how many colors are really in a fire...

"Where's Elliot?" Shane asks, breaking the silence.

"Oh," I glance back at the plane, "with my mom. Guess she wanted to put him to bed, it's almost ten now."

"Weird having your mom here," Shane goes on simply, "she's like everyone's mom now," he jokes a little, kinda smiling.

I shrug, "I guess, she likes taking care of Elliot. She says he reminds her of me. And she likes teenagers, which is weird. Guess that's because I never rebelled or really argued with her."

"Yeah," his voice fades a little, "she reminds me of my mom."

I look over at Shane feeling bad for him too. He lost his mom in the crash. I thought I had lost mine too, but it was a different crash. I nod slowly at her, feeling that nodding is a sign of silent respect and sympathy. Another weird thing about me. "I'm sorry."