Blood Sugar

Part Thirty-Nine: Pinky Promise

For Tuesday, I arranged an emergency sitting with Lara.

"Kaya.. What. The. Hell. Happened?", she said as she took my shoulders and looked me in the eyes with a mixture of excitement and horror. "Please.. calm down first.. okay?" "Ohhh no no no.. I'm not gonna calm down", she laughed nervously. "Okay then.. I'll give you a short update. Lee broke up with me on Friday, I slept with John after Chris' birthday, my mom stopped by, I hung out with River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves, I decided to get back with Lee, he doesn't want me to see John anymore, I told John I can't see him anymore. That's basically it." She shook her head in disbelief. "What?"

I explained everything to her in detail. She took her head into her hands and sighed. "Girl.. what are you doing? I can't leave you alone for one sec." "I know.. I'm sorry." "I don't know about you getting back with Lee though.. to be honest.. I always felt something between you and John. Don't you think you're betraying yourself?" "Man.. you know I thought this through a lot.. but he's just too capricious." "Hey Kay, you're young. You've got all the time. Just listen to your heart." I shook my head. "I can't take another disaster relationship.. after all the bullshit I dealt with before."

When we finished that topic, she was eager to hear everything about Keanu and River.. of course. And I had to promise I'd introduce them. "It's the first thing I'll be doing the next time I get a chance to meet these guys", I reassured her. "Pinky promise?" "Pinky promise!"

*******

On Thursday, I sweat blood. Man, was I nervous. I kind of felt like this day would shape my future. And it would be fate.. whatever would happen... it'd be my fate. I strongly believed so. And if Lee still wanted me, that was good. He was a decent guy indeed. He'd do me good. 

I grabbed my cord jacket and my bag and left my apartment. Before I went to Lees' place, I stopped by at the liquor store and got a couple of Ciders.. who knows? Maybe we got reason to celebrate. 

My hands were shaking as I rang his doorbell. Miguel opened. He looked uncomfortable. Man.. I only met this guy in the most fucked up moments, no surprise. "Hi Miguel, how's it going?", I said in a let's-break-the-ice-kind-of-mood. He gave me a crooked smile. "Uh.. Lee's in his room." Thanks Miguel, I bet we'll become best friends. I smiled awkwardly. "Aight. I'll find my way", I said and rushed past him. Learn some manners, dude.

I knocked on Lees' door. "Come in", he said. He was sitting on his bed and tossed his earphones on the ground when I approached him. "What were you listening to?", I asked. Maybe it'll be easier if I started with small-talk. "Wish you were here by Pink Floyd", he said. Fuck.. a sad song. "Good one!" "Yup. They wrote it about Syd", he answered. "Interesting."

Lee sighed. "Kaya.. let's just get over with this. look.. I love you.. and I'm willing to give you another chance.. but only if you really want this", Lee said. I breathed deep. "I do", I said. This is the right thing to do, I told myself over and over again.

"This makes me so incredibly happy. You won't believe it", he said and took me into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you", I said, nearly crying. I was so sorry about sleeping with John.. and not telling him. Lee didn't deserve this.. But I couldn't get it past my lips. "It's okay. I'm willing to forgive and forget. But I can't deal with you being around John. But if you really want this.. like you said.. it shouldn't bother you to stop seeing him, right?", Lee said when he pulled me out of his hug and looked me in the eyes.

Well, I was mad at him anyway.. so I nodded to him and he kissed my forehead. "So Kaya.. I decided to spend the summer in LA. I can work in Joshs' company. In fall I'll have to leave. But we can get through a long-distance relationship, right? I could come over for Christmas Holidays. And anyways.. it's only one year 'till I finish my studies", Lee said.

Oh wow. I wasn't expecting this. I don't know why. We just had this real serious talk. But since Josh told me Lee'd be gone in March, I didn't really think about the time after. "Hey, you don't seem excited about that.. I'm doing this all for you, okay? If you don't want me here, I'll leave. Don't get my hopes up. That's not fair." I shook my head firmly. "No no no.. I'm sorry. It's not that I'm not excited. I just suppressed this topic." He stroked my back. "Yeah.. I know it sucks."