Finally Together

Chapter Thirty Three

Chris' POV

Khadijah and I quietly walked into the waiting room of Dr. Lewalls office. We made no efforts to speak in the car so I felt a need to break the silence.

"Therapy is hard, you know," I stated, looking down.

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"It ain't like the movies where you vent and get something off your chest, the therapist gives you advice, and it's all over. It's a long, long process," Khadijah stared at me as I talked, making me continue. "She'll ask you questions about things that you haven't thought about it years. She'll ask you questions about shit you won't even have an answer too or shit you don't want to think about. It's not easy."

"You went before?"

I nodded my head slowly. "After my momma legally left that nigga," I said in reference to my stepfather. "And I'm going now about my anger. Remember, I told you yesterday?" Her head nodded slightly. "It's not easy," I repeated.

"Dr. Lewall will take you now," the enthusiastic secretary said. A couple emerged from the office followed by the doctor, herself. She smiled brightly and motioned for us to go over.

I took one last look at Khadijah before we went in. "We can do this," She whispered in my ear as I felt her hand smoothly rub mine.

We sat on a brown leather couch across from Dr. Lewall who sat on an identical single chair.

"Well, we didn't have much time yesterday to discuss some key rules so let's start that now. Firstly, this room is a safe zone. Feel free to describe your true emotions with no judgement. Go ahead and cry, scream, whatever it is you are feeling. With that being said, it is only a safe zone is everyone gets to fully express themselves so please keep interrupting at a minimum." We nodded our heads in agreement to her rules.

"Now that's out of the way, I would like to continue to get to know you. So, please tell me about your childhoods. Certain incidents in childhood can affect people in their education, relationships, all aspects of life, really," Lewall said.

Khadijah stayed shut. I, on the other hand, knew what "incidents" the doctor was referring to so I spoke up first. "Well, I was born and raised in Wicker, Illionois by my mama and older sister. My parents were divorced by the time I was five. A few years later, my mama met this new nig- man that she ended up marrying. He was real nice at first. Always taking is out, buying us things, whatever. When he finally moved in, everything switched and the real him came out. He had issues and would take them out on the first person he saw. That usually meant my mama." I paused for a second to take a deep breathe. I could literally feel my anger bubbling up, the way it always does when I relive the situation.

Once again, I felt Khadijahs right hand grab onto my left to comfort me. When I turned my head to look at her, I saw the similar look of pity and sadness. Maybe it was what my mother said repeating in my head or maybe it was the anger I already felt but the look I got from her pushed me over the edge.

"Nah, nah don't sit there and do that shit," I harshly said to Khadijah before standing up.

She look startled by my actions. "What are you talking about? What did I do?"

"Don't fucking look down on me and try and act like your family is so perfect and better than mine!" I yelled.

"Chris, I wasn't! Where are you getting that from?"

"My stepdad wasn't shit but my mama and pops are perfect people. Shit, atleast I have them in my life. You don't even know your parents, that's fucking pathetic," I rambled on. "So, stop thinking your better and more normal because you're just as fucked up as I am."